YouGabSports Blogs
Thoughts From the Couch -- 09.05.11
Category: Daily Blog 2.0

An Open Letter to Commissioner Roger Goodell:

Dear Mr. Goodell,

First of all, is it okay if I call you Rog? Mr. Goodell makes you sound like a creepy principal who's under investigation for being a kid toucher. But then again, Rog sounds like the guy down the street who offers to sell you pot every day after you get off the school bus, so I think I'll stick with Roger. 

Anyway, I'm writing this letter to you with the hope that it will knock some sense into your egotistical skull. You see, the Indianapolis Colts (or as you probably know them, Peyton's team) have hired the sweater vested criminal, Jim Tressel, to some bullshit coaching position. I think the proper term is "game day consultant" or something stupid like that. In case you didn't know Roger, what that really means is Jim Caldwell hired his friend because no one else wanted anything to do with the piece of shit. But anyway, the fact that he was hired isn't the problem, because everyone deserves the opportunity to have employment. The problem is that you haven't announced Tressel's suspension yet.

In case you don't remember Roger, when Terelle Pryor was selected by the Raiders in the supplemental draft, you quickly reminded him (and Al Davis, because you and I both know he forgot) that the suspension levied against him by the NCAA would transfer to the NFL. In case you didn't know Roger, Tressel was suspended by the NCAA too. Now, I'm not by any means an expert on rules and laws, but doesn't it make sense that if you suspend one player to avoid him weaseling out of a suspension levied against him by the NCAA,  you should suspend a coach who is trying to weasel out of a suspension by the NCAA for the same incident? Granted the words used to describe each individual's violations are different, but let's be real here Roger: they were suspended for the same damn thing, and everyone knows it.

Roger, you and I both know that the right thing to do is suspend Tressel for the same amount of games that you have suspended Pryor. It's the only fair way to handle this. Look, fans are already pissed off at you because of the lockout. Suspending Tressel isn't going to make things any worse for you. Sure, OSU fans might hate you, but they hate everyone anyway because everyone is saying mean things about their Jimmy. So really you don't have anything to lose here, except for your credibility if you don't act on this and suspend Tressel to set an example. 

Come on Roger, it's not like you have a problem handing out suspensions. Would it make it easier for you if the Steelers had hired Tressel? Would you have already suspended him then? I'd be willing to be you would. (And you know this.) Seriously though, what's it going to hurt by suspending him? It's not like the Colts are going to lose because their "game day consultant" isn't in the booth telling Coach Caldwell when to throw the challenge flag or call a time out.

Nope, the Colts are going to lose because Peyton Manning might not play since his neck isn't fully healed. (Between us, I really don't see how his neck has held up as long as it has...have you seen Peyton's head? It's like a fucking blimp on top of his shoulders.) Anyway, I know you're probably scared shitless that Peyton might not play this year, because you're wondering who is going to replace him in all those money making commercials you depend on to pay your bonuses. 

Don't worry about that kind of stuff right now Roger. Trust me, the NFL will make you enough money to ensure that you can retire early and live a long and prosperous life. But right now you need to worry about something that could do you more harm than good if you don't act upon it. If you don't suspend Tressel, you're being complicit in what went on at OSU, and you don't want that do you Roger? Of course you don't, because no one will ever take you seriously again when you try to suspend a player for wearing the wrong color socks with their uniform. 

Do the right thing Roger, and suspend that piece of shit Tressel before he has a chance to put on his Indianapolis Colts sweater vest and sit up there in that comfy booth with that smug look on his face like "Yeah bitches, I got away with it all while I was at OSU, and in three years I'll be on those sidelines winning a Super Bowl".  You have a chance to put a stop to this Roger, even if it's only for the first five weeks of the season. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter Roger. I look forward to seeing on Sportscenter that you have done the right thing and banned that piece of shit Tressel from being the cocksucker weasel that he is.

As a football fan, I must say that I really appreciate the hard work that you do for the game of football, and all I can say is thank God you're not Gary Bettman.

Sincerely yours,

A concerned football fan.

Happy Labor Day to everyone out there in You Gab Land. Stay safe and always remember: if you want to drink, please drink responsibly. If you have any thoughts you'd like to add, feel free to do so in the comments section.

Monday Moaning 9-5-11
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NCAA NFL Notre Dame Football Ohio State Football Jim Tressel Dolts Kate Upton The Beeze Roger Goodell Robert Griffin Twitter

Wow! Two weeks in a row Mother Nature has been causing trouble, and gives me an excuse to post a pic of some tastiness in the rain! Not that I need much of an excuse!

So the weather caused some issues at the Notre Dame game, but the weather gets no credit for the disgrace that took place on the field...I'm not taking anything away from USF...They are a good team, with a good coach, but the Irish handed them the game right from jump...

Notre Dame looked great in their opening drive, all the way up to the point where Jonas Gray fumbled at the goal-line...If you read my IRISH_PREVIEW you saw that I pointed out, that Gray needed to knock off his fumbling habits! Too bad he didn't read it...USF scooped it up and ran it all the way back for 6...This didn't seem to rattle the Irish, except for QB Dayne Crist, who started making bad reads, and throwing bad passes...The Irish got to the red zone 4 times and left with 0 points on the board in the first half...

Theo Riddick fumbled a punt inside the Irish 20 yard line, and that rattled him for the rest of the day...He couldn't handle any punts...bobbled them all, never got his feet under himself, and looked scared shitless...Then he started dropping passes...

Oh, and don't forget the stupid fucking penalties...Harrison Smith, two fucking face-masking penalties in a row...He should have been benched...Gray and Riddick too!

Coach Brian Kelly looked like he was going to start ripping players faces off...After halftime/ a long weather delay, Kelly benched Crist, and put in Tommy Rees...The Irish came out fired up, missed a field goal...Rees threw a pick...And yet, they still were pushing to comeback...Another weather delay with 4 minutes left in the game...Then Rees threw another pick...Irish get it back, score, down by 3, go for the onside kick, don't get it, game over...

I was so upset watching this Football game, my oldest daughter, who hasn't seen this side when we go to the local high school games, asked, "Why do boys like Football so much when it makes them mad?" Good fucking question honey! I took to twitter with my anger so I wouldn't upset the kids...Some ND supporter tweeted, "We understand why Irish fans are upset. You are welcome to be upset. We will continue to support Notre Dame our mother. Don't turn on these young men."

Which of course got under my skin, so I responded with this, "Oh, thank you for allowing me to be upset! How kind of you! Wow, you've got some balls!" They came back with, "@TheBeeze34 Think you are taking what was said the wrong way. Just asking #Irish fans to not turn on our guys."

So I hit them with two more..."@TNNDN #Irish fans have the right to want their team to not fumble games away. QB's not to throw picks and make bad reads" and "@TNNDN Say what you want, but it's their job. They are getting a $50,000 yr education for playing football. Fans have the right 2 b pissed!"

I really hate when people are so arrogant, that they feel they speak for all fans everywhere, and that they need to tell us how to feel...Blow me! I'll cheer how I want, and I'll be pissed if I want...I have been a loyal, and die hard Notre Dame fan forever...And to me being a fan doesn't mean being blind...That team played like a steaming pile of dog shit, and a real fan admits to it, and calls them on it!

Fuck it, I need to move on...Speaking of Blind fans...Saw some dope Ohio State fan flying this flag...

That's right Buckeye Nation...Never forget that Jim Tressel cheated his way to that record, and now you have one of his understudies coaching the team now...So most likely the same shit is going on...Oh, and could you assholes stop being so fucking excited that Ohio State beat the hell out of Akron...Of course they did...OSU's 3rd stringers are better then Akron's 1st team...That's why they play at Akron! Fuck take the best High School team from Cleveland, and the best from Cincinnati, and they could take it to Akron...Fuck you people are retarded!

And since I'm here, Why the fuck hasn't Roger Goodell Suspended Jim Tressel yet...If you didn't know, Tressel got a job as a BS assistant with the Colts...Now Goodell upheld the NCAA's ruling on Terrell Pryor, and suspended him for his first 5 games in the league...So why hasn't he come out and done the same to Tressel...Tressel was given 2 games by the NCAA initially, and then said he'd take 5...Once again, the commissioner's office is being inconsistent in it's rulings...

And any of you Suckeye fans have a problem with me writing truth, all I have to say is this...

Now, who missed the TCU vs. Baylor game Friday night...Listen, if you see a reply airing on one of the ESPN's, watch it, and remember what I wrote about ROBERT_GRIFFIN back in July!

Now I've spent all this time bitching about Football...Real quick, lets get into something else...Mrs. Beeze and I have both gotten emails from people in the last week...They've been those chain-letter types of emails...We've gotten them from about 5 people, all the same, telling us how we all need to be flying our American Flags on the 10th anniversary of 9-11...Let me ask you this...Why the fuck aren't you flying your American Flag every day!?!

Now, before we go enjoy our Labor Day festivities...I thought we should celebrate with a little Kate Upton!

Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.


Ask Johnny Monkey
Category: Humor




Johnny Monkey is here to help. Need help winning your fantasy championship? Ask Johnny. Have girl trouble? Ask Johnny.  Want to win the lotto? Get, lost...


This week I received a plea for help from Jason in Dewlap, Oklahoma. Jason asks...Johnny Monkey, how do you get all the girls?

Jason, it is nice hear from you. From the time I was a youngster, I just had the knack with girls. Try eating your vegetables and tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue.

Breaking Point - NCAA Football
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NCAA Football Ohio State Miami Arkansas

Thoughts From Am Island Girl


As the summer winds down and baseball becomes increasingly irrelevant to most teams and fans, the start of the college football season seems a welcome break.   But no,  just like pro  wrestling,  the outcomes seem to be largely predetermined.    The only difference is that there is no text messages from management and the Divas wear a lot more on the sidelines than Kelly Kelly does with the WWE.   But at least Kelly's persona seems to be a more like an old MTV video than the total sellout by college hostesses at the bigger colleges and universities.  These guys go to the major programs because of the perks.    Coaches tell them what they want to hear and give them all the candy they can get.



I would like to think that most girls do not sell their bodies for the sake of a National Championship or even a way to pay the costs of college.  That our hard work is being rewarded for studying rather than grunting below the vise of a coddled and spoiled,  non-matriculating cretin.   We are not foods for the gods,  but relevant in terms of our dedication to our studies and then to the school spirit.   But that spirit is not taking one for the team.   


"Who is that casting devious stares in my direction?".  "Yeah momma this surely is just a dream,  yeah".    But it is not.   Things are spiraling out of control when you have 'The U' and 'The Ohio State',  engaging in nihilistic rituals, all for the sake of someone's ego.   These schools names and distinctions seem to have a more nefarious point of origin.   Bad money to support the habit of winning is similar to baseball's dalliances with performance enhancing drugs.  The homerun is replaced by self-aggrandizing sack dances and other forms of taunting.  

 While the NCAA has addressed taunting down the field,  it has not begun to realistically address the underlying causes for this self promotion.  In basketball you get the Kentucky coach outright saying that the players are there to play basketball  (which may be true enough) and basically implies that they will not graduate and will make it to the NBA, but Arkansas gets nailed for not graduating enough players.    

As I see it,  all those one and done players must be dragging down their graduation rates at Kentucky.   This seems really just a pretense at overseeing the academic part of a student athlete's studies.   A lot of these players at operating at a grade school level.    

I don't even pretend to think that they are top of the line scholars but I do expect the schools and this includes prep schools to actually prep the players in learning how to learn.   So if I sound a little annoyed,  I believe I have good cause.    And more when my college sisters are selling their souls for a kind of grant that gets a prostitute arrested.   No wonder there is such a backlash against this kind of practice.    And it is no wonder that a lot of women feel bitchy,  if you would.


Seeing that Pat Summitt has suffered her latest setback,  I am sure that this isn't what she would want women to do.   To sell our bodies like that.    I am not embarrassed to be a woman or afraid to show my body at the beach but I do take exception that women can be used like this.



Storminnorman's Sports Views
Category: Daily Blog 2.0
Tags: Whatever is on my Mind be


I was going to talk about NCAA football this weekend, but then I suddenly remembered that this is the weekend 1 of 3 that Michigan donates to their opponents athletic program by coming to the "Big House," and being their sacrificial lamb. I will talk about football next weekend, when Michigan is actually playing someone other than Eastern Michigan; when they face Notre Dame............

There is the normal buzz that occurs at either Fenway Park, when the Yankees and Red Sox's play each other. But there is a different type of buzz in the state of Michigan, everyone is either talking about the Tigers or Lions in anticipation of things yet to come. Earlier this summer, I wrote a piece about the Tigers-White Sox's series which got some mixed reviews at the time because the Tigers were still looking up at the Indians in second place I believe. However, if the Tigers want to cement themselves into the top of the American League Central they had better do well in this series. The White Sox's are throwing their best in Danks and Buerle, as we are in Verlander and Scherzer this weekend so if anything it should be an interesting series.

How well the Tiger's do this weekend depends on this arm, Verlander has been almost unbeatable after a Tiger's loss. Now we will see how reacts in a meaningful series, after a loss. No one really cares that the Tiger's split with the Royals except for the Tiger players themselves, their next two series against the Sox's and the Indians mean much more to their Division title hopes............


In a couple of weeks, the NHL will open camps to prepare for the upcoming season. It will seem kind of strange, not to see "Ozzie" or "Drapes" in camp preparing to make another run at Lord Stanley's Cup. However, as it was with "Stevie Y." we missed them for a moment, but let's be honest, the Red Wings need and infusion of youth on this team in order to remain able to compete for the Cup every year. I am just curious about one thing though.............


How many of you out there will actually miss the NBA season, I know I kind of will, because my wife and I love to go watch the Pistons play even if they suck. I just won't miss the "crybaby," who will never win a title in Miami as long as he fails to show up in the big games. I will not miss the Miami Heat, Boston Celtics, Orlando Magic and San Antonio Spurs on television every night. But I will miss the Dallas Mavericks not getting the opportunity to defend their title, as the Red Wings were unable to do after they won before the NHL lockout.................


I am rooting for the Winnipeg Jets this season also, I hope they were able to get enough good players to be able to compete in their division this year. I cannot wait for the Wing's first West Coast road trip to Canada, or even their first game on HNIC, so I can watch this team. At least if anything this comes out of this season, Edmonton may not be the worst team in Western Canada at the end of the season. Yes I went there, I took a shot at the Oilers. Maybe they should move to another city, they have not been good since Gretzsky and Messier left, and their poor loyal fans deserve better...........


Thank you for reading my post, hope everyone has a happy and safe Labor Day weekend. By the way, GO LIONS AND TIGERS!!!!!!










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