Welcome to this edition of the world according to… oldharry here with my faithful talented and opinionated sidekick. Some of you know shorty, who uses parody, sarcasm, innuendo, insult and pain to nail the heads of his adversaries to the floor.

Let’s get one thing straight, the rumors circulating that say oldharry was holed up at the Tavern for the better part of two years pacing and ranting that it was Josephine’s fault or it was France’s fault are somewhat exaggerated…just happened to be checking in and looking for my car keys…to the Rambler Classic, she just won’t start without the keys, when Mo ventured in…a total coincidence I’ve been assured…and as for the

 hors d’oevres ?… perhaps another time

I’m excited to be filling in at the Gab from one of the catbird seats at the end of the bar at Mo’s.          

 No, it’s not the Bandits ergonomically correct high back leather stool.

Anyway, it’s a real honor…I don’t need an actual seat, as many of you know, ole shorty serves the purpose quite well.

 where are the snacks? chex mix is not a snack!   

It’s been a while since shorty has been seen at the Gab but he’s kept himself busy pursuing his own interests…

He worked as a diet guru after being asked to leave the Tavern with some nice gentlemen dressed in blue a couple of years back. His Atty, Jackie Chiles Esquire was able to work out a plea agreement and keep shorty on the street with just a few hours of community service. Terms of the agreement forbid shorty from telling Irish or blond jokes in public.

This past weekend saw the NCAA get down to the final four…shorty finally got around to doing his brackets on Tuesday and has been remarkably accurate…picked the final four! Shorty’s predictions for the rest of the tournament : Michigan will play Syracuse and Wichita State will take on Louisville on Saturday in Atlanta

 Louisville and Michigan will square off in the finals and Michigan will take it by a score of 74-67

Prayers for Kevin Ware for a speedy and full recovery.

Major League Baseball season opened this week and fantasy baseball here at the Gab is in full swing as well,

Them Astros won the seasons first game with that AAA payroll. They looked like a triple A team vs Darvish in the second game.

Right now every team has at least an outside shot of winning it all

my Red Sox are two and oh.

Their are a few teams that are still trying the old George Steinbrenner method of buying a championship.

The most “brennerized” teams are:

#1 New York Yankees    $ 228,835,000.00

#2 L A Dodgers              $ 216,597,000.00

#3 Phila Phillies              $ 165,385,000.00

#4 Bostahn Red Sox        $ 150,655,000.00

#5 Detroit Tigers             $ 148,414,000.00

And last and least, Houston Astros  $ 23,000.000

I guess now is when I throw out my MLB predictions,

Atlanta will beat Detroit 4 games to 3 in the World Series  some time in early November

Shorty is all about being = and doesn’t want the ankle bracelet back on so

This is:

A Brunette joke.

A young and beautiful brunette walks into her doctors office,

and says, “ doctor you have to help me, my body hurts wherever I touch it”

“That’s strange and highly unlikely, show me” . he says

At that she poked herself on the elbow and screams in agony, pokes her knee and doubles over in pain, touches her forehead and screams out again…

The doctor looks her in the eye and says, “you’re not really a brunette are you?

Between tears she says,” no I’m really a blond”.

The doctor says, “I thought so…and… your finger is broken”

NHL, the Boston Bruins traded prospects and a conditional 2^nd round pick for Jaromir Jagr to beef up their struggling power play, how much the 41year old Jagr has left in the tank remains to be seen but it can’t hurt the Bruins with the small price they paid.

Jagr has been in the NHL longer than teammates Dougie Hamilton age 19 and Tyler Seguin age 21 have been alive.

The question most of us Boston guys have though is, what will Mumbles Menino, our out going Mayor, call Jaromir if the B’s win the cup.

One of my sons says Mumbles will refer to him as Mick Jagger.

With Crosby out the Penguins aren’t as strong but as we know, read NJ Devils, anything can happen in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. If you’re in you can win. The Blackhawks and Montreal will both be in the mix.

In the

NFL, the SF 49ers have signed  corner Nnamdi Asomugha for about 3 million to help or hope to shore up the secondary, also sent a late round draft pick to Cleveland for perennial back up QB Colt McCoy

And speaking of Irishmen…

There was this Irishman named O’Brien, he walked into a Boston Tavern.
The Bartender say’s to O’Brien, “what can I get you” O’Brien says,” get me three shots of your finest Irish whiskey my friend” and the bartender does.

Every day O’Brien does the same thing and after about a week the bartender says, “O’Brien, wouldn’t it be easier if I put all three shots in one glass?”

O’Brien replies, “not really, you see I have two dear brothers back in Ireland, Kevin and Timmy and whenever I’m in a bar or tavern, to remember the times when we were together, I order a shot for each of us.

A couple of weeks later O’Brien comes to the bar and orders just two shots of whiskey, the bartender, concerned that something has happened to one of O’Brien’s brothers says, “ O’Brien my friend, is everything alright back home with your brothers?” O’Brien says, “their is no problem at all, my brothers are just fine, it’s that I’ve decided it’s time I stop drinking”

I just got the Rambler back from the body shop,

You gotta admit…she’s a real lady!

Thanks for the visit and the comments.

Hey…that’s my buddy Lanz over there…and he’s talking sports ----------->

No pun intended.

No punishment.

If I offended you, you needed it!

- Stone Sour, Absolute Zero

There are very things in sports that are more sacred to athletes than the money they make. They covet it. They scrounge for it. They fight for every last cent that they feel they are entitled to. If you mess with what a man holds sacred, you might as well be painting a bulleye right in the center of your back.

Such has been the case with Tom Brady, the quarterback and unchallenged leader of the New England Patriots. Earlier in the week, Tom Brady restructured his contract with the Patriots. The new deal takes the $27 million previously due to Brady in his old contract and converts it to a signing bonus and replaces it with a 5-year, $57 million deal. More importantly, the new deal pays the quarterback a salary that will represent a much smaller hit for the Patriots in regards to the NFL Salary Cap.

Fans should applaud such a deal right?

Not exactly.

Fans and players alike are taking Brady to the woodshed over the deal. Fans are saying he and the Patriots are subverting the salary cap system. Players are complaining that by taking a below market deal, Brady is in turn driving the market down for other free agents (see Flacco, Joe). Never have I seen an uproar over a player trying to do something to help his team win!

Let's be honest here, Brady isn't being a martyr. He's guaranteeing himself more money in the long run. Brady is also making sure that he is controlling his own fate through the end of his career. As ESPN points out, by taking less money over a longer period of time, Brady takes the money out of the equation. He takes the Peyton Manning-type decision out of the process. As the article states, Brady didn't want things to come down to the Patriots having to decide if his skills merited the size of his contract or if that money would be better spent elsewhere. By restructuring now, Brady puts a clock on his window with the Patriots and his career, without the threat of money interrupting that legacy.

At the same time, Brady realizes that if he wants to win during that window, the Patriots are going to need all the flexibility they can create. What that means for other quarterbacks who are seeking big money, like Joe Flacco or Drew Brees, that doesn't matter. Brady and the Patriots saw an opportunity to give this team a chance to stay competitive and allow them to add the pieces they would need to do so.

As fans, we should appreciate that kind of foresight, both on the part of the Patriots and Brady or Ben Roethisberger and the Steelers. We scream day and night about players selfishly putting themselves against the long-term prospects of their teams. So why are we villainizing this deal?

So what if it marks a change in how things are done. So what if Joe Flacco gets $1 million less if the Ravens slap him with the franchise tag. Are we that hung up on burning all figureheads at the stake that we want to look a gift horse in the mouth? I don't know if I can pull myself together long enough to live in a world where athletes are willing to take less money in order to keep their teams competitive.

Oh the horror.

I think my only other blog this week will be for the top 25. Feel free to check out my updated Alabama rivalry post or the Mississippi St. one. I personally like the Mississippi St. one better.

As a Tiger fan, I’ve never been more sickened by two games in a 10-month period in my life than LSU’s two losses to Alabama this year. I’ve been sickened by, for example, losing 9 games in the 1992 season, but I can’t think of two specific games as frustrating in that short a period of time. That period of time (that was one of 6 consecutive seasons without a winning record or bowl game for LSU) seemed to last a lot longer since it lasted from ages 7 to 13, by the way.

The cumulative losses to teams like Alabama and Florida still get at me, so something like this just re-opens old wounds. I’d be better able to blow it off if we had finished 14-0 last year of course. As I mention in the rivalry blog, there is a difference of opinion as to LSU’s main rival, but for me there is no question it’s Alabama. I’m not as crazy about it as the average Auburn fan probably is; but still, if they could win only one game, I’d pick that one.

Also, for some strange reason, I’m cursed with knowing a bunch of Alabama fans. I lived in Louisiana my whole life until moving to California in 2004, but I guess because someone thought alleged football championships would translate into a good education, a few people from my high school went there, and then some home-grown Bama fans (at least they have an excuse) went to my undergraduate school.

Of course the offense in the bowl game was just useless, and the coaching staff did nothing about it. It’s a miracle that LSU was within two scores until late in the fourth quarter in that one…. But at least I didn’t have much hope for a win as the game went into the second half. What made that really bad was the effect it had upon 13 games that otherwise would have comprised the best season in generations if not the best season in LSU history. And it also gave Alabama (and Nick Saban) another national championship to claim in a year in which LSU went to Tuscaloosa and beat the Tide no less.

Today’s game unfortunately forced me to have hope even though I had written it off as a loss before kickoff. LSU was moving the ball, getting first down after first down with the lead, and for some godforsaken reason, apparently it was decided to settle down and kick a field goal (which was missed… the reason LSU won the regular-season game last year was Alabama’s repeated settling for field goals they had a good chance of missing) with a minute and a half left. But if you can move the ball with pass plays when the defense knows you’re going to have a pass play, why not keep doing it when the defense is unsure and perhaps even expecting runs? You don’t have three boring runs in the middle of the field. And then on defense, how could they not be prepared for a screen pass? Alabama is like the Bill Cowher Steelers with that play. It’s mind-boggling. I was too frustrated to notice, but if the approach to defense changed for the winning Alabama drive, that was foolhardy too.

Full post

Here we are again...Looking down the barrel of another long, work week...I'm really starting to get tired of how quickly the weekends fly by...But then again, maybe the weekends won't get past me as quick, once I'm not sitting in the cold rain, watching my local Brooklyn Hurricanes High School football team, play like shit...Browns fans are pretty unhappy with Pat Shurmur...And we'll get to him later, but this high school coach is a complete fuck-tard...

Then there are the parents who were screaming at the refs Friday night, after a 30+ yard TD run was called back for holding...Well, I know you're parents and I get you supporting the kids, but if the D-lineman is dragging an O-lineman who is clutching at the back of his jersey...IT"S FUCKING HOLDING! This team isn't win-less because of the refs...They lack size, experience, talent, discipline, and good coaching...Bitch at the coaches for only having 10 men on the field far too often...Bitch at the coaches for not teaching them to zone block properly, or not hold...Blame the coaches for not working more with Johnny Throw Another Pick...

Holy shit, I just defended refs!

-Then comes Saturday, which I spend a ton of time watching College Football...And then going through College Football notes, to decide what I'll write about for Sunday's WRAP_UP...

Although this Saturday we started the day at Toys-R-Us...The Little Beeze had a few gift cards burning a hole in his pocket, from his birthday...He loaded up on some Club Penguin toys, and some Angry Birds...he also let his older sister get a doll...Pretty cool of an 8 year old boy to do...He also grabbed some Angry Birds Star Wars toys...But they couldn't ring them up...They informed us that they aren't allowed to sell them yet...So answer me this..."WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A HUGE SHELF FULL OF THESE TOYS, IF YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SELL THEM YET!?!"

They apologized, and then we were asked to leave...Fuck them!

-Sunday, I did yard work during the Browns game...It finally wasn't raining, and shit needed to get done...And I decided I'd rather watch the Patriots/Jets game, then watch the Browns lay another steaming pile of shit...

 

Last week Fatty, Walrus, Holmgren was shown the door....Sadly, in a polite way...He was given the chance to say he's retiring after this year, and will help with the transition that is going on...GM Tom Heckert has been looking for a job since the news of the sale broke in August...And after what I heard on the radio from fans Sunday, and what I saw on Twitter...Pat Shurmur better start looking, because if the new boss Jimmy Haslan doesn't run him out of here soon, the fans will...Dude, you lost to the Colts...From what I saw, Weeden played well...better then Luck...But the Browns only ran it 17 times, for 55 yards...What the fuck did they draft Trent Richardson for? we already have water boys!

Unreal...

As for the Patriots, they beat the Jets 29-26...While it's a win, it's disappointing...The Pats defense better start knuckling up, because giving up 26 to the shitty Jets is just bad...

-Hey the Red Sox have a new manager...Their former pitching coach under Francona...They traded an average SS to the Blue Jays for their manager...What the fuck is that...I'll tell you what that is...That's making the fans happy, because it's a guy they like and know...And it's making the players happy, because it's a guy they like and know...Fuck everything else...One year of headaches was enough!

-The latest BCS Rankings came out Sunday night...There has been a slight change that will get some people in the Pacific Northwest upset...Here's the top 5...

1. Alabama...2. Florida...3. Kansas State...4. Oregon...5. Notre Dame...Honestly, at the start of the season, I looked at Alabama as the best team out there...But these rankings are suppose to be based on a number of things, and Alabama hasn't played much of a schedule yet...Especially compared to Kansas State, Florida, and Notre Dame...Oregon is an offensive power-house, but their defense has shown squat so far, so any crying they're doing can stop until they stop some one...I would have K-State above Florida and 'Bama, but I can accept Florida ahead of them...This season wasn't expected from them, and thrashing South Carolina this week proved they've earned it so far...Things are going to be interesting...

But the slight that would have me pissed if I lived in Oregon, would be the fact that the undefeated Oregon State Beavers are sitting at 7, behind LSU...That is just fucking garbage...These asshole continue to overrate LSU...Undefeated Miss State should be ahead of LSU instead of at 11...

The 7-0 Ohio University Bobcats finally made it in at 24...Still too low, but at least some people are taking notice...

(16) Louisville and (15) Rutgers didn't move up as much as they hoped after Temple gave Rutgers and early scare, and and USF gave Louisville a late scare...

-So I was watching the Steelers and Bengals game...It went to a commercial...There's Brad Pitt standing there...Talking...Sounding all deep, and spiritual, like he's about to hit us with some serious shit, that only a Hollywood douchebag can clue us in on...But then it ended...





Are you fucking kidding me!?! Even my wife broke off a "What the fuck!"

Seriously...Are all those adopted kids making things that tight, that you're being all deep, and emotional about Chanel No. 5....You know what dude...Put a fucking dick in your mouth and choke on the load!

The only thing that made me more disgusted with TV today was a commercial for a show called "South Beach Tow"...




Is this really what our world has come to...A so-called reality show about obnoxious douchebags towing cars...Everyone in this show looks like people who get fired from dish washing jobs...Enough with the not-so-reality TV...Lets get back to writing, and filming quality shows...And History Channel, lets get back to History, instead of assholes in a pawn shop...It scares me, what America is becoming...

That's it for now...Have a week...

The Beeze.

10 games, that is all that remains of 2012 for the Pittsburgh Pirates. 10 games stand before them, straddling the line between forgotten success and continued infamy. 

The Pirates, once upstarts but now stalled, were 10 games above .500 on July 16th, standing just a single game behind the Cincinnati Reds for first place in the National League Central. Since that day, these Pirates have played baseball 12 games below .500 and now sit at 75-77 on the season and have already watched the Reds hoist the Central division title, a cool 16.5 games ahead of the now fourth place Pirates.

This year was supposed to be different. Despite a similar flirtation and failure in 2011, baseball fans everywhere were getting behind this edition of the Pirates. They had a legitimate MVP candidate in Andrew McCutchen. They had a young, confident pitching staff behind James McDonald and gelling with the addition of A.J. Burnett. This year was different.

Well, perhaps the bandwagon got too full because the ship suddenly got too heavy to move under all that weight. 

Now Pittsburgh has just the aforementioned 10 games in which to make the unbelievable happen. They have to make up 6.5 games in the Wild Card race, jumping 5 other teams in the process. It is not a very likely goal, especially considering that the Pirates lack even a single game against a single opponent that stands above them in the standings. 

No, that ship sailed long ago.

Still, there is at least one realistic goal still within reach and it bears as much significance to this team as a playoff appearance; a winning season. That's right, with their last winning season coming in 1992, the Pirates have the longest active streak of consecutive seasons with a losing record. By finishing the season just 7-5, Pittsburgh can put that piece of infamy behind them. 

The first of those steps comes in the shape of a 4-game set with the lowly New York Mets. After that, it is all home cooking, with 3 games against each the division champion Reds and the eventual Wild Card winner Atlanta Braves. The Reds are apt to be resting players after having already clinched the division title. The Braves enter the week with a magic number of 2 to claim the first Wild Card slot in the National League. By the time Pittsburgh sees them, they too could be in rest mode.

That puts the ball in Pittsburgh's hand heading into the final week. They control their own fate and have a legitimate chance to become a winning franchise again. By putting the losing behind them, the Pirates can look to 2013 with a new attitude. They can approach a pennant race knowing what it takes to be a winner, a closer, instead of expecting impending doom.

It's all about the baby steps Bob. Baby steps to a winning record. Baby steps to a MVP award. Baby steps to the playoffs. Baby steps to a World Series...