Yeah, Back by popular demand, I've decided to dust off the weekly classic...Sports, pop-culture, maybe a rant mixed in, and of course, some lovely ladies to close it out...Let's get started...

1. Which Eastern Conference team wins and heads to The Stanley Cup Finals...New York Rangers? Or New Jersey Devils?


2. Which Western Conference team wins and goes to The Stanley Cup Finals...LA Kings? Or Phoenix Coyotes?


3. Our favorite comic announced he's going to have small role in that new Lifetime show staring Jennifer Love Hewitt...



A. Have you ever watched it?

B. Now that you know it's about Jennifer Love Hewitt jerking guys off, will you watch?

C. Will Bill Burr steal the scene?


4. Ohio State football player Andrew Sweat was offered and undrafted, free-agent deal from the Cleveland Browns...Sweat decided, based on his own history of concussion symptoms, and all that has gone on with head injuries in the NFL, that he would pass on the NFL and head to Law School...He's actually been ripped by dolts in the media for following in his father's footsteps instead of taking a crack at the NFL...

Did he make the right call?


.....Fuck You! I don't give a shit what you think, and neither should Sweat...Holy fucking shit, they kid may be the smartest mother fucker Ohio State has ever produced...Who the fuck is anyone to say he should have taken a shot at the NFL...He wasn't even drafted, and already has a history of head injuries...If the kid thinks the best thing for him is going to law school, then good for him...Anyone talking shit about that should choke on a big fat dick and die!


And now for the most important question...

5. On this fine Hump Day...Which one of these asses would you most like to pound your pud into?


 

A.




B.




C.




Audience participation only makes this post better...Nothing like people arguing over which hottie they could never get, but damn it she's the one they'd do!

Later, The Beeze.

 
This week's post was going to be mostly about my family's trip to DC...But things didn't work out quite as we planned...We were to leave on Thursday...Monday the wife got a stomach bug...By Tuesday she was fine, but I got it Monday night...I took Tuesday off to try and beat it...Wednesday I was back at work...By Wednesday night, I was dying...Fever over 104, chills, puking, shits, pure hell...I wasn't better Thursday, and the baby got a touch of it...Slight fever, and the Hershey squirts...

The wife and other two kids went...The whole reason for the trip/family get together was her uncle's military funeral at Arlington National Cemetery...


As they rolled into town the first thing they saw was the Washington Monument...I later found out from my brother-in-law that Little Beeze started calling it "The Mega-Weiner"...That's my boy!


There he is with his big sister at "The Mega Weiner."


Here's the boy at The Smithsonian...They were really excited to go there...They were talking about it for a couple weeks...The Mrs. talked about coming back Saturday, knowing that I was having a rough time, and she was missing the baby...But I told her no way...They had to go to the Smithsonian....There was no way they were going to get short-changed because I had the shits...

They got back Sunday, and Molly went bat-shit crazy when they pulled in...She was dying to see her big brother and sister, and mom...It made Mother's Day nice, having mom get home...

So while they were away, what did me and my peanut do, besides being sick...Well, she got over it quick...I didn't start feeling well until Saturday, and then I was still rundown...Over the course of these few days we played a lot at our front window...


That's her favorite place to play with her toys, color, and eat...Oh, and watch the birds, squirrels, and bunnies that hang around our yard...A few mornings we threw some bread out there for the birds, and then she got a kick out of watching them eat...

We also watched plenty of Baseball...Mostly Indians vs Red Sox...Let me say this, it was great seeing the Indians beat the hell out of stupid Josh Beckett, and his over-inflated, arrogant, ego...The Tribe ran his ass in 2 innings, which was good, because I had to go blow mud...Then came the Red Sox bullpen...What a Island of Misfits Toys that thing is...Then the next night was the battle of two mental defective pitchers...Ubaldo Jimenez, and Clay Bucholz...These two dolts just don't want to win games, the way they've been pitching...

The next two games the Sox beat the Tribe down...But the Red Sox pitching has some serious problems...But Saturday's game wasn't really on my radar...I had more important things to do...Early in the day we went to The Hooley...A fun little neighborhood street party with two stages, food, drinks, and more...Molly enjoyed the pony ride, and the Irish Dancers...

After we got home she had a long nap...We had dinner, and got ready to watch the Rangers take on the Capitals in game 7...She wasn't going to bed anytime soon after that nap, let-alone with dad fired up, on the edge of his seat, rooting on his Rangers, who squeaked out a 2-1 win...Monday they take on New Jersey in the Conference Finals...

And for the people who hate on the Rangers like they're the Yankees...Hockey ain't Baseball...Hockey has a salary cap...The Rangers aren't rocking some kind of Yankees like advantage...They've got a team of mostly home grown talent, hard working grinders...Not two lines of super stars...And for the people who cry and go back to the Rangers in the '90s...Yeah, they spent a ton of money, on star vets...What did they get for it...One Cup...They aren't the Yankees...And it was teams spending like that, that got Hockey to fix itself...So fuck off...Thank the Rangers, and watch them take it home this year!

And shit, I can hear the conspiracy theorists now, if it ends up New York, and LA in the Finals...Wake up dummies, and actually watch some Hockey...Look it how these two teams goalies have played...They're un-fucking-real...

Go Rangers, fuck everyone else!

Have a week...

The Beeze.

 
In case you haven't been paying attention, "The Avengers" opened this weekend, and this flick is going to bust over $200 Million for the opening weekend...Holy shit!

Oh, and by the way, it was fucking awesome...The Mrs. and I checked it out Sunday evening...They did a great job with it...Great action, great humor, and it was cool seeing shots of Cleveland getting blown the hell up!

And then of course, there's Scarlett Johansson...Hot as hell and kicking ass!


Tonight Mrs. Beeze's name is Scarlett!

Now, onto sports...

-Ohio State got rid of cheater Tressel, and his dirty ways...The brought in Urban Meyer to get things back on track, never mind the dirt that comes with him from Florida...And then this weekend, THIS story broke...Shit is unreal in Columbus!

-Albert Pujols finally finally hit his first home run of the year...I don't really give a shit...I've enjoyed seeing his overrated, overpaid ass struggle...Fuck the Angels for giving him a ten year deal...DOLTS!

-The Kentucky Derby lived up to it's hype of being the most exciting 2 minutes in sports...As "I'll Have Another" (15-1) came from behind and beat out Bodemeister who lead the entire race...He also beat out my horse, Dullahan who was charging hard as well...My oldest daughter had her money on Bodemeister, so she was pretty pissed...

-Sunday I wrote THIS post about struggling Indians pitcher Ubaldo Jimenez...Then the prick goes out there and pitches a good game...

The Indians have been a bit of a hot topic this week...With the Tribe sitting in first place of their division, and the Texas Rangers coming to town for the weekend, all the radio guys could talk about was the poor attendance so far...Some of these guys ranted about how Clevelanders shell out money every year for Browns season tickets, even though they religiously suck, and the front office has made it clear, they couldn't give a fuck about the fans...And if you've read my blog before, you know that pisses me off as well...I refuse to spend a dime on the Browns...

As for people not turning out for the Tribe...Well, shit baseball in Cleveland, during April usually sucks...Most of April is normally cold...even nice days, it gets cold at night...Then of course, we have a shitty economy here right now...People are watching how they spend their money when it comes to entertainment...Families may plan on taking a vacation, and dropping $150-$200 to take the family to a ball game may not be in the budget...

As for the fans who use the Indians' cheap owner as an excuse to not go, I could agree with that, if they weren't dumping money into the Browns...Also, the Indians are winning, and last year they were competitive...So a bad team isn't an excuse...

That said, unlike some of these guys on the radio, I'm not going to rip people for not going to the Indians games...Why? Because fuck it, I don't go...Shit every single game is televised...If that isn't enough, how about this...Tickets cost too much...Beers cost too much...Hot Dogs cost too much...Parking costs too much...And if we aren't taking the kids, a baby sitter costs too much...We've got bills to pay...Tuition for the kids...And just because some ass-hat on the radio says we should go to games, doesn't mean shit to me...

Lastly, I've got a PENNY_FOR_YOUR_THOUGHTS on this topic...

Now, I've gotta go throw it in Scarlett...Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

 
Since even before the Indians acquired Ubaldo Jimenez last season, he was already struggling...And so far during his time in Cleveland, his delivery has constantly been changing...


Repeatedly the Indians staff have talked about Jimenez's mechanics being all mixed up...Everyone knows he has the ability to be an elite pitcher...He showed the potential in Colorado...If a pitcher can make it there, he can make it anywhere...

So why is he struggling in Cleveland...


Clearly the Indians staff isn't working with him enough, or the right way...It's time for the Tribe to look into their past, to help their future...

In 2007 Indians starter Cliff Lee started the year on the DL...When he returned, he struggled...And struggled...Finally the Indians made a bold move...They sent him down to the minors to work out his problems, and get his mechanics together, and consistent...Even after putting it all together, and looking great, the Indians didn't bring him up for the playoff roster...Lee has said it was the toughest season of his career, and going down was hard to swallow...But he will also tell you, it was the best thing that happened to his career...

What happened next...2008 Lee was lights-out, and won the AL Cy Young Award...And even though he's no longer with the Indians, every year he's on the short list of Cy Young candidates...

The Indians need to remember this, and consider sending Jimenez down...Work out the kinks...Build up his confidence..Get him back on track...

History does repeat itself...

Later, The Beeze.

So the NFL Draft kicked off Thursday night...As a Browns fan, I'm not thrilled...I'm not totally pissed, but not thrilled...Getting Trent Richardson was good, but trading 3 picks to move up one spot to get him was retarded...The Vikings boned the Browns with that...They weren't taking Richardson, and Other teams weren't throwing that much to move up a couple spots, let alone one...Then with the 22nd pick the Browns took their next starting QB...Their 17th since they returned in 1999...


Brandon Weeden...I think he'll be better then Colt McCoy, but based on what we've seen that isn't saying a lot...I mean McCoy, as you can see from that list above, was one of a long standing tradition of Browns QB's who were running for their lives, and had little talent around them...Weeden may have a better chance, but 22 was too high for a guy who is almost 30 years old...They could have got him at 37, and gotten the WR they need so badly at 22...

Oh, they got a WR...In the 4th round, they picked up a 5 foot 9 inch receiver, that everyone had a boner for...Are you shitting me...We don't need a midget slot receiver, we need a mother fucker who can go down field, and out jump DB's for balls...Oh, and actually catch balls!

At 37 they took California tackle Phillip Schwartz, who will play the right side...Good pick, they needed to fix that side of the line...Then they traded down from 67 to 87, picking up pick 120...At 87 they picked up the #2 DT from Cincinnati...WTF for! This is a guy they could have gotten in the 6th or 7th round...Fucking stupid...The later rounds was nothing sexy, or thrilling...A couple LB's and depth guys for the OL and DL...I'm not thrilled, but I guess these clowns could have done worse...

I wouldn't get into all the details, but looking at the recaps, I like what the Steelers did...Some smart picks, that will make their mini-rebuild easy...I'm not jumping ship, even though they have good looking fans...


Shit, look at this ugly bastard, having fun, just because his asshole team wins...



Oh, and for my blogging brothers, I finally found that pick of JDIN827 chomping on a bone...


Of all the idiotic picks that took place in the draft, there was none more retarded then the Saturday, when the Redskins after taking RG3 # 2overall, then took Michigan State QB Kurt Cousins...What a waste...These dopes traded away so many picks just to get up to #2, they can't afford to be burning another on a QB...But fuck'em...That's why they're the Redskins, and that's why they keep losing their division!

But enough of this draft bullshit!

-The last couple weeks, I had been getting myself ready for my transfer from The Fish House, to one of my company's Steak Houses...Well ain't this a bitch...They put me on the station that cooks all the fucking fish! 8 burners and a flat-top, cooking pastas, fish, chicken, and veal...And this fucking joint sells a bunch of fish at lunch...But I'm settling well, and the crew I'm working with is pretty cool, and has welcomed me with open arms...

-Saturday night the Mrs. and I went out for an early Italian dinner...Great little place right in our neighborhood...After some great food, a couple glasses of wine, and desert, we were feeling good...She was even a little frisky...Then we went to meet up with some old friends of mine for drinks...We had a great time...The Karaoke started, and we had to go...We wanted to stay, but the baby-sitter was starting to cost us a lot...

Sunday, the wife was feeling a bit tired, and well, she just can't hang like she use to...So I took the kids to a park for a couple hours...Molls was loving the swings, as usual!


After that we knocked out some yard work while the kids road their bikes...I had to chop the hell out of a hedge along the driveway, so I can get my new mini-van all the way in the back...Yep, I'm full blown Mr. Mom now, rocking the mini-van...

That's it for now...Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.