I no longer feel as though I am the only one that hates Nickelback.  I almost hate Nickelback as much as I hate the Leafs.  And yes, FlyerFanatic, I am still waiting for my money.  You came here like a man, talked shit (which I can respect), made a bet, but neglected to follow through on your end of the deal.  That, I cannot respect, especially since you were the one that encouraged me to take your bet.  I would have ate my crow if the leafs neglected to make the playoffs, but seriously, anyone who knows anything about hockey (and no, not just the Utica Devils) knows that they are NOT a playoff team.  So what happens?  You bail on your bet.  I have been anxiously waiting politely to see if you would own up to the bet, but alas, it hasn’t happened.   Now, I will say this one more time.  Shoot me a message, and I will give you my paypal address.  Unless of course, you need that money to put your parrot through therapy after all the times it has seen you abuse yourself in front of your computer monitor, while it sits contentedly on your shoulder, quietly shitting down your back.

Wow.  I hope this league takes off.  After perusing their home page, I noticed that it doesn’t mention the ability to play hockey.  All that is required for a casting call is a head shot (not the Cooke or Torres version), a full length bikini body shot from the front and the rear, and your contact information.  This league is going to be based out of Tulsa, Oklahoma.  The league founder, Cary Eskridge, will be holding the tryouts on a format similar to the UFC or The Flavor of Love; all entrants will be housed in a mansion.  The interest has already picked up, with former fitness model and daughter of former NHL’er Jim Van Boxmeer, Ashley Van Boxmeer.

Ashley was an outfielder for the Cal State and University of Ron New Mexico, has been listed as one of the 20 hottest softball players, and has represented Canada internationally for softball.  Is she in shape?

Yeah…you could say that.  This league will be an inline league, which only makes sense.  Not exactly fair to have the ladies wearing bikinis on the ice.  However, if that was the case, we may see some items that may be able to cut diamonds.  I sincerely hope that this league takes off, and I am personally looking forward to seeing how it progresses.

Blitzen Trapper…I’m really liking these guys lately…

How do you like playing in Philadelphia now Bryzgalov?  Kinda make you regret those disparaging remarks that you made about Winnipeg?  But hey, if you wanted to make the big money, you need to be able to take the big money heat and big money fan backlash.  Bryz has been feeling the wrath of the Philly faithful, and I believe I have said it from the start; he will soon realize that playing in a market like Philadelphia is vastly more intense than playing in Phoenix.  Now, Bryz is signed to a massive $51 million dollar 9 year deal.  Philadelphia has always had problems with their goalies, since the departure of Hextall in 1992.  Earlier this year, I listed the majority of the names that have had their shot at glory in Philly, but failed to capitalize on the chance to be the number 1 goalie that the team sorely needs.  Bryz managed to make it through the first round of the playoffs against Pittsburgh, even though he finished the series with a .886 save percentage.  That my friends, will not make the grade in the NHL.  The only reason that they managed to emerge from the first round, was simply because Fleury played that much worse, finishing the first round series with an .834 save percentage.  After watching that round, I didn’t have high hopes for Philly emerging out on top of a traditionally stifling Jersey defense.

Are all politicians essentially corrupt?

I thought that the Winnipeg Jets did something noble earlier this season.  Prior to their home opener, the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper, requested 14 tickets to the game.  He was rejected that total, and was allowed to purchase 2 tickets for his personal use.  Now, as it seems, the Provincial Government in Manitoba has been accused of abusing their positions as politicians and have been receiving and handing out free tickets to the Jets games.  Should anyone really be surprised by this?  Typically, no.  Corruption and bribery, lamentably, are two common staples of politics in this day and age.  Why, for any reason, deny the Prime Minister of Canada tickets to the home opener, only to allow local provincial level Members of Parliament distribute tickets as they see fit?  But here is the thing; the MLCC (Manitoba Liquor Control Commission) is the only licensed retailer of alcohol in the province.  Why are they getting free tickets under the “advertising” budget?  Does that make sense?  No one in the province is legally allowed to sell booze, so why do they need to advertise?  Here is where it gets interesting; out of the 188 free tickets that the MLCC received, they issued tickets to the Office of Healthy Living Minister.  Politicians going to the game are not an issue to me; it is simply that they are using tax payer’s money to do it.  At least offer to pay out of pocket for the ticket and pretend that you care.  Since the return of the Jets to Winnipeg, finding tickets for home games is very challenging.  At least make it a fair playing field.

Today, since it is Mothers Day, let’s take a moment to reflect and thank those marvelous ladies in our lives.  Me?  I can’t wait until my boys get older and they can start buying shit for their mother on their own.  I signed out of that deal, why am I still on the hook for recognizing her?  For me, it is no longer Mothers Day, but MILF day. 

Mrs. Doutzen Kroes

Mrs. Eva Herzigova

Alessandria Ambrosia

And of course, Niki Taylor.

Thanks for stopping by.

Have a great week.

Hotchnuts

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Ahh…even after the Flyers dispatched the Penguins in the first round of the playoffs, the faithful Flyer fans are still letting Crosby have it.  If anyone is in Philly and wants to sample one of these bevies, make your way to The Nodding Head Brewery.

Will Ovie be called on the carpet for this one?  It is hard to say, but he is a repeat offender and he does appear to leave his feet prior to the hit.  The final factor would be if it was a hit targeting the head of Dan Girardi.  I haven’t been able to find any clear footage of that, but if someone does have footage that shows contact to the head, then past history would lead us to believe that Ovechkin will have a meeting with Shanahan.  The way that Ovie has been playing for Dale Hunter and watching his ice time drop, he doesn’t seem to be endearing himself to his coach.  Hunter has always been a coach that holds his players accountable and no one gets a free ride.

I know that I have touched on this topic in the past, but do Dale Hunters numbers warrant a look by the Hall of Fame?  Dale Hunters stats will hurt him and help him.  Hunter has played in 1407 games, tallied 323 goals and 697 assists for 1020 points, but has also earned 3563 pim.  Is the Hall afraid of penalty minutes?  Or is it simply because Dale never led a team to a championship?  To gain entry to the Hall, according to the Hockey Hall of Fame, skaters must have at least 300 goals, 700 assists, or 1000 total points, and have played in a minimum 700 regular season games.  The Hall will meet on June 26^th, 2012 to discuss the potential inductees.  Please keep in mind that all of these names are off of the Hockey Hall of Fame website, which lists the potential inductees.  You can view it for yourself here; http://www.hhof.com/htmlInduct/ind12prolog.shtml

Joe Sakic is pretty much a lock with 1641 points and 2 Stanley Cups.  There is no arguing that Sakic is probably the top dog out of all of the eligible players…but the list gets a little confusing as you read it. 

Jeremy Roenick is another no brainer.  1363 games played, 513 goals, 703 assists for a total of 1216 points.  He doesn’t have any championships, either at the NHL or International level, but that shouldn’t affect his chances. 

Brendan Shanahan is another easy choice.  Shanahan has played in 1524 games, totaling 656 goals and 698 assists for a total of 1354 points. 

Even though I am not the biggest Sundin fan, he has played in 1346 games, totaled 564 goals and 785 assists, for a total of 1349 points.  Sundin does not have a Stanley Cup Championship, but he does have one championship from International play.

Gary Roberts has played in 1224 games, 438 goals and 472 assists for a total of 910 points and 1 Stanley Cup.  Good numbers, but this won’t be his year unless the Hall decides to induct 4 forwards.

Now, here is where the list is a little bit confusing; and remember, this is directly off of the HOF’s website for potential inductees for forwards.

Bobby Holik has played in 1314 games, scored 326 goals and 426 assists for a total of 747 points with 2 Stanley Cups.  Statistically, Hunter is better.

Chris Gratton has played in 1092 games, tallied 215 goals and 354 assists for 568 points and zero championships.

I’m not going to do that for the rest of the names on the ballot as forwards, but I will tell you who else is eligible.  Martin Gelinas, 660 points, Claude Lemieux, 786 points and 4 championships, Michael Peca, 465 points and Mike Sillinger, 548 points. 

Statistically, Hunter is better than all of those players, but his name is not even listed as a potential inductee?  Why is that?  Is it the PIM’s?  Lemieux has about half the amount of PIM’s as Hunter, but his reputation is very similar to Hunters.  Dale Hunter meets all the requirements as a potential inductee, but why is he not listed?  Are they trying to make a point by putting someone like Sillinger as a potential inductee but not Hunter?

Jordan Carver yoga pose of the week:

Thanks for stopping by.

Have a great week.

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This year’s playoffs have been an eye opener for some teams.  Torts said it best, “the first round is often the hardest.”  With the first round of the 2011-12 playoffs in the books, we have seen the last 4 Stanley Cup winners eliminated.  Boston, Chicago, Detroit and Pittsburgh have all been eliminated.  Boston and Washington played the lowest scoring series in playoff history, and the Chicago/Phoenix series had 5 consecutive OT games.  Pittsburgh and Philadelphia had one of the highest scoring series in recent history, and there were times when I thought that the teams should just hang a frying pan with a team logo on it off of the cross bar; it might have stopped more shots than Fleury or Bryzgalov.  New Jersey needed 2 overtimes in a game 7 to get past Florida, and Vancouver surprised me and actually won a game against Los Angeles.  I was confident when I told Sully that LA would sweep Vancouver.  Los Angeles has some key pieces in place for a strong few years, including Quick, Brown, Richards and Doughty.  They are going to be a threat for a few more years yet.

As a Boston fan, I could sit here and complain that the OT winner could have been called off for goalie interference, but that isn’t the point.  Boston did not play their best hockey against the Capitals.  Dale Hunter and the Capitals played well enough to a earn a first round win over the Boston Bruins.  Did I hear correctly when he told his players to skate away and not get involved in the skirmishes after the whistle?  Dale Hunter said that?  This Dale Hunter?

As a hockey fan, we shouldn’t really be too surprised.  After all, since Dale and Mark Hunter purchased the OHL London Knights in 2000, Dale Hunter has coached them to division titles in 03-04, 04-05, 05-06, 06-07, 08-09, and 09-10.  In the 2003-04 season, Dale Hunter coached the Knights to an OHL record 31 consecutive wins, going 29-0-2.  In London, Dale Hunter has coached John Taveres, Michael Del Zotto, Rick Nash and Corey Perry to name a few.  Dale Hunter can coach, that has been proven at the OHL level.  Now, George McPhee needs to give Hunter a full season as coach to really put his fingerprints on this team.

Joel Ward, who scored the OT winner in game 7 for the Capitals, has been the subject of numerous racial taunts and slurs over the past couple of days from disgruntled and ignorant Bruins fans.  As a Bruins fan, I am embarrassed by the actions of the few.  Shortly after the Capitals victory, a pathetic group of Bruins fans had taken to the social media platforms that are available, and began lobbing racial slurs towards Joel Ward.  Fans that take to social media or other public platforms just to display their ignorance are a disgrace.  Boston, as an original 6 team, has had its share of history and milestones.

Willie O’Ree broke the colour barrier in the NHL, and was the first black player in the NHL.  O’Ree has a display in the Sports Museum of New England, which is located in the TD Garden.  O’Ree is also a member of the New Brunswick Hall of Fame, and has been honoured with the Order of New Brunswick and the Order of Canada.  Boston fans that are making their dislike of Ward public are basically pissing on some of the Boston Bruins history.  

Little tidbit of info for everyone…if you are reading this and are thinking to yourself that words like colour, honoured, and neighbour are spelled incorrectly, just try to remember that some words are spelled differently in Canada.  I’m getting pissed with these red squiggly lines.

Hotchnuts had a chance to go and see one of my favourite (fuck you red squiggly line…) bands, Nashville Pussy.  Wow.  It was a great show, except for too many tequila shots.

Hell yeah, alright, keep on fucking, we’ll be too tired to fight.

Time for your Jordan Carver yoga pose of the week.

Thanks for stopping by.

Hotchnuts

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As hockey fans, we hear rumors about many players, and some rumors that appear to be completely false and exaggerated.  Rumors about players having sex with reporters, players and illicit drug use, rumors about the trading of players…the rumors go on and on.  In the NHL, there are approximately 700 players.  Out of those 700 players, it is a given that there are drug users, cheaters and partiers.  Just like high school students, you will have rumors about other students and their choice of lifestyle.  That is also a given.  “Hey, did you hear about Mike Richards?”  Athletes are people as well, and we are all prone to mistakes.  Is it in poor sportsmanship to use that rumor to taunt an opposing player?

I’ll keep my response succinct and brief.  NO!  Obviously the guideline and expectation is that one should never cross the racial divide, and that is not up for discussion.  In regards to taunting your opponents, it is better to be more creative and exaggerated to make sure your point gets across.  What brings this up?  We all know that Alex Burrows is not an angel.  His past history has shown us that.

We are also aware that Mike Richards isn’t an angel, and rumors surrounding his lifestyle in Philadelphia contributed to that.  For those of you that aren’t sure about the rumors concerning Richards and his support of the Philly nightlife, Rick James said it best.  For me, Burrows, as much as I dislike him, is very creative in his taunts.  In this first clip, you can see Burrows going to his nose at the 25 second mark.

In this second clip, we get some extra footage and Burrows does not let up.  By now, he had scooped up some ice chips onto the end of his stick and was offering some to Richards.  At the 45 second mark of this clip, we can see Burrows motioning his stick towards Richards before the linesman comes over and knocks the stick down

Me?  I love that type of shit.  Sure, I still think Burrows is a douche, but I enjoy his creativity and ingenuity.  This is the NHL playoffs, and you have to do whatever you can to get into your opponents head.  I sincerely hope that LA can knock out the Canucks in the first round.  That would be bittersweet for me.  

Over the years, there have been countless incidents of trash talk on the ice.  Personally, the one that I have used that had the biggest impact was skating by the other teams bench and asking their coach, point blank, which one of his players are sucking the refs cock for the calls.  Sure, it got under the coaches skin and the entire teams, but I made myself a target and was okay with that.  Luckily for us, some of them have been caught on camera.  Kesler and Burrows talk to on of the Blues about their girlfriend Kelly…

Brian Trottier and Kevin Stevens…

I would be remiss if I didn’t include James Wisniewski and Sean Avery…

Once in awhile, we are lucky enough to hear what the players are saying in the scrums…

Not all taunts need to be verbal…

And sometimes the fans get involved…

With Round 1 of the 2011-12 playoffs underway, there are some series that are moving along as expected, and others that may potentially be an upset.  As I am working on this Saturday afternoon, there are two teams that are up 2-0; Los Angeles and Philadelphia.  I expected Philly to give Pittsburgh some competition, but how far they could take it relied on how well Bryzgalov was playing for them.  Going into the opening round of the playoffs, Bryzgalov was playing well for the Flyers, but I didn’t think he would be able to keep up with the offense that Pittsburgh was going to throw at him.  Couple that with Philly having a few players that had not been in the NHL playoffs before and Crosby starting to hit his stride, things did not look overly promising.  However, I never expected the Flyers to be able to jump out to a 2-0 advantage.  This is going to be the best series of the opening round I am thinking.  The chances are very slim that Pittsburgh will be swept, but then again I didn’t think that Philly can go into Pittsburgh and steal 2 games either.

And that brings us to the Los Angeles Kings.  Going into this series, I thought that the Kings were deeper on defense and had a better goalie than the Canucks.  So far, that is what I am seeing.  Nothing would make me happier than seeing Vancouver get knocked out in the first round of the playoffs.  Anyone who knows me understands that I put ZERO stock into the whole desire for a Canadian based team to win the Cup.  I couldn’t give two fucks about that.  The majority of the teams are composed of Canadian born players, so I can get my solace in that.

Now…for my little bit of a rant.  Bettman is being very patient with the situation in Phoenix…maybe a little too patient.  I can remember how quickly Bettman snapped up the Jets and Nordiques to move them the second that there wasn’t an approved buyer that wanted to keep the teams in their cities.  Keeping that in mind, why doesn’t Bettman use that same business approach in regards to the Coyotes?  There has been interest from markets outside of Phoenix interested in purchasing the team, but Bettman has put all blockers up and remains committed to keeping the team in Phoenix, even if it adds up to the NHL operated team losing money on a yearly basis.  Kind of funny…Bettman wasn’t willing to lose 1 fucking dime to keep the teams in Quebec City or in Winnipeg, but why is he willing to do so in Phoenix?

Next Friday, Hotchnuts is going to see The Supersuckers and Nashville Pussy.  I think it should be a great show!  I’m going to enjoy it, that is for sure.

And now, your Jordan Carver yoga pose of the week.

Thanks for stopping by.

Hotchnuts

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Happy Easter to all my fellow gabbers and their families!

And the winner of the 2011/12 YouGabSports hockey pool is…

Sully’s Bruins.   Sully’s Bruins narrowly squeeked out a win against Beezeland’s Barons.  Congratulations everyone for making this years hockey pool a good one.  I would also like to thank Sully for organizing this year’s fantasy hockey draft.  I can’t speak for everyone, but I had a lot of fun with it.  Sure, my team wasn’t as successful as I would have liked, but the important thing is that we all had a good time.  It is very rare that a hockey pool goes off smoothly, but Sully was on top of things at the start of the season and solved any problem quickly.  So once again, thank you Sully for putting together an enjoyable fantasy hockey pool.

This is the last time that I am going to waste any breath or thought on this poor excuse of a man.  Graham James recently returned his “Man of the Year” award from The Hockey News.  Why is this relevant?  It wasn’t until this past December, when James plead guilty to his SECOND round of sexual assault charges that they decided that maybe, just maybe, Graham James doesn’t deserve the award.  Why did it take them so fucking long?  James was found guilty on his first round of sexual assault charges back in 1997, so why are they only asking for it back now?  It should have been resolved over 14 years ago, when James first charged with sexually assaulting minors.  How about this to top it all off…after the awards ceremony, James sexually assaulted Sheldon Kennedy in a room paid for by The Hockey News.  For me, there are many other hockey magazines out there, so I will never buy another Hockey News again.  I hope that as you are reading this right now, James is getting molested in a manner that is worse than anything that he has ever done to anyone before.  I don’t usually wish ill on people, but James is a garbage receptacle of a human being that deserves all the discomfort that Stony Mountain can throw at him.

Once again, Torts is an amazing sound bite.  However, Torts is exactly right on this one.  Crosby gets away with way, way too much in this game.  However, with him being the “poster boy” for the league, it is highly unlikely that he will ever receive supplemental discipline from the league for his in game antics.  Torts was fined $20,000 by the league for his comments.  I can recall about a year ago, shortly after the Penguins/Islanders brawl, Mario unloaded on the NHL, basically calling them a garbage league and he isn’t sure if he wants to be involved in the NHL anymore.  As a result, the Islanders were the only team to have players suspended as a result of the brawl.  Funny thing though; the Islanders managed to keep all of their players on their bench, even though players left the Penguins bench to join the fray.  A little bit of a double standard?  You could say that.

These guys need to get back together…Rocket From The Crypt…

Well, Stamkos did it.

Stamkos scored his 60^th goal of the season on Saturday, and he is only the 2^nd player in the past 15 years to score that many.  I have to say, that is a classy gesture by the Winnipeg fans.  It is nice to see a standing ovation for a visiting player when they hit a milestone.  On a side note, Stamkos has 91 points as I am writing this on Saturday night.  I think it is safe to say that if you are a goalie, you had better be playing the shot and not the pass.

Jordan Carver Yoga pose of the week…

Okay…for the entire officiating staff to miss this is beyond me.  2 refs and 2 linesmen, and they all miss this.  Okay, people make mistakes, but it would seem as though there are more and more mistakes being made by the officiating staff lately.  If the NHL releases information on fines regarding players and coaching staff, shouldn’t they release discipline information regarding the officiating staff?  All that is a guarantee in this whole bullshit play from Clowne, is that I have zero respect for him as a hockey player.  I honestly and truly hope that they get buried in the opening round this year.

Fight of the week:

Michael Haley vs Cam Janssen

Thanks for stopping by.

Hotchnuts

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