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Weekly Grumble with IHM 1/19
Posted by IHateMillen on Monday, January 19, 2015 at 7:12:52 AM


  We interrupt your regularly scheduled Monday Moaning for this weekly grumble... Beeze wanted to pull the switcheroo this week, so now you're stuck with me instead today. In order to not dissapoint the masses, I gave you what you came for here at the top, a little gratuitous semi-nudity!

  As you all already know, the Patriots and Seahawks will square off in this year's Super Bowl. Both teams took very different routes to victory yesterday, with the Patriots dominating from the opening whistle and the Seahawks waiting until the final three minutes of the damn game to show up, but no matter what way you look at it, both teams earned a trip to the Super Bowl. I'll be honest, the Seahawks game pretty much took my will to watch any more football away... I fucking hate that team with a passion... so I'm glad I didn't miss a whole hell of a lot in the AFC Championship game! I watched until it was a 14-0 game, then I changed the channel. Of course, I checked back here and there to watch the progression of that beatdown, but the only interesting thing to happen was Nate Soldier making his way into the end zone and the fat guy celebration that ensued!

  So now the ball is in your court, Patriots! Beat the Seahawks, shut that loud mouthed idiot Dick Sherman up, and put that smug cocksucker Pete Carroll in his place...PLEASE! Hell, if you pull it off, I might renounce my fucking Lions fanship and hop aboard with you all. Hell, I'm moving the hell out of Michigan pretty soon here anyhow, so I might as well take advantage and find a team worth rooting for! If the Pats can pull it off, I'll be a happy man. If I watch more hot garbage like I did Sunday afternoon on Super Bowl Sunday, I might just say fuck the NFL all together.

  By the way, nice job Bostik... you know that fucking clown was cut before the team plane landed in Green Bay... probably as much for his own protection as for his inability to field a fucking onside kick! Enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame douchebag... you earned it. Kind of fits into those YOU HAD ONE JOB memes...

  Yeah... that's the stuff! But honestly, what are the odds this guy even sniffs another NFL job after that? I know there is a lot more blame to go around, especially to Green Bay coach Mike McCarthy for being such a pussy all game long on the play calls... but good fucking christ, talk about a boner of the year candidate this early in the year!

  So now we get two weeks of hype... two weeks of people trying to interview Marshawn Lynch for some fucking reason... and Lynch being a petulant child about it despite drawing attention to himself with stupid shit like he did Sunday... with yet another on field crotch grab. Real class act... but then again... what more do you expect out of a cat named Marshawn? And how much time do we need to spend talking about the fucking guy's cleats? He wanted to wear a pair, the league said no... end of story. In hindsight, I wish he would have worn em and been ejected! The guy is a damn good football player; but he's a few fries short of a Happy Meal!

  Elsewhere in sports, Max Scherzer has reportedly agreed to a seven year deal with the Washington Nationals, but no financial terms have been disclosed. It is believed that the Nationals will have to move Jordan Zimmerman and/or Ian Desmond before being able to take on the size of contract Scherzer is likely going to get. I know a lot of Tiger fans are mad he didn't re-sign last winter when he was offered five years and 140+ million dollars... but really they should be happy. It helped save the team from signing another stupid, bloated contract for a guy who is on the downside of his career (not getting any younger at 30) and who has a whopping total of two career complete games. He's a good pitcher, don't get me wrong... but he sure as hell isn't a guy I give a max deal to (no pun intended). The Tigers, as I have said a million times before, should have traded the guy immediately after he turned down the massive contract extension offered to him, when his value was highest and they still had control over him. But hey, what the fuck do I know... I'm just some piss ant fan!

  In all seriousness, good luck to him in Washington... no need to act like a jealous ex-girlfriend in all of this. That is one aspect of fan behavior I'll never get... the jealous rage we all seem to go into when a guy signs elsewhere. There is no such thing as loyalty in sports these days... get the fuck over it. If someone walked into your place of employment and offered you a three dollar an hour pay hike to come work for them, you'd be gone in a fucking second!

  The other big story this weekend was Joe Pa getting his wins back. Enjoy that hollow victory Pedo State... your legacy is still exactly what it was without them. A pathetic old man who cares more about the "status" of your program than the well being of children. Rot in pieces you apathetic old twat.

  Speaking of twats... how about Michael Moore. He was recently asked about the film "American Sniper" a biopic on the life of former serviceman Chris Kyle, directed by Clint Eastwood. Moore is quoted as saying that snipers are "cowards". Something tells me this fat puddle of shit would be singing a different tune if Kyle were alive to defend himself! Michael Moore, please jam another cheeseburger into that fat sasshole of yours before you enlighten us with any more of your bullshit... okay?

  The Pistons make their way to national TV today at 2:30 Eastern in a game against the East leading Atlanta Hawks on ESPN. First time in a couple of years I can remember that happening. Should be a good one... better than watching the Lakers/Knicks/Cavs like ESPN usually trots out there, anyhow!

  That's all I've got for today folks. Thanks as always for reading, and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a week!




Weekly Grumble with IHM 1/16
Posted by IHateMillen on Friday, January 16, 2015 at 12:00:00 AM

  Hello ladies and gents, and welcome to this week’s grumble with IHM. This week, we’ve seen a little of this, a little of that… nothing all that impressive. You know, aside from the greatest week of football the NFL has to offer (the two day, four game bonanza known as the “Divisional Round”), the potential fall of a legend (Peyton Manning goes down to his successor Andrew Luck in said Divisional Round), the crowning of the first college football playoff champion (the Buckeyes somehow), and a bunch of other crazy crap. So, without any further ado… let’s get on to it!

  As Moz has said many a time, the NFL’s divisional round is the greatest spectacle that the sport of football offers us. The best eight teams, all vying for a spot in their respective conference championship games, all hoping they will be the next team to get their hands on the Lombardi Trophy. This year’s crop of games did not disappoint… the Pats outlasted the Ravens in an instant classic, the Packers got some “controversial” help beating the Cowboys, the Colts surprised some and sent the Broncos home, and the Seahawks dominated the 7-8-1 Panthers.

  And then there were four… the NFL’s final four features teams that don’t exactly shock anyone. The Patriots, Colts, Seahawks, and Packers are among the perennial favorites the league actually has. Each team was a virtual lock to win their division this year… with the exception possibly being the defending champion Seahawks who play in arguably the toughest division in the sport, the vaunted NFC West. Despite that, they edged out the 11-5 injury plagued Arizona Cardinals to win it in the final week of the season, and certainly benefitted from the surprising fall of the San Francisco 49ers.

  As for this week’s games… the Packers make the trip to Seattle, where the Seahawks are nearly impossible to beat in the playoffs thanks to their “12th Man”… you know, that and their stifling defense and impressive ground game. With Aaron Rodgers less than 100%, it almost seems like a lock that the Seahawks will be afforded the opportunity to defend their title on February 1st at University of Phoenix Stadium in Harvey’s backyard!


  As for the Patriots and Colts, if you look at what happened earlier this year when the Patriots dismantled the Colts nearly two months ago 42-20, it seems like Tom Brady will get another shot at shutting up Dick Sherman on the world’s biggest stage. Since then, the Colts are 7-1… the one loss being a 42-7 blowout at the hands of the Cowboys while they rested the majority of their skill players. The key here will be if the Pats have someone to lock down T.Y. Hilton, Andrew Luck’s go to guy. The Patriots are the clear favorites, but a key will be the ground game that has all but vanished since the week 11 drubbing of the Colts. This one has the makings of being an instant classic, especially if Tom Brady and Andrew Luck end up getting into an old fashioned shootout. My pick is the Patriots, but that pick is not made with a ton of conviction.

  As for the college football playoff championship game, it might not have been pretty in the end, but we finally got what college football fans have been clamoring for for decades now… a playoff and a true champion crowned. No, TCU did not get a chance… and Baylor didn’t get in, but that was mainly their commissioner’s doing when he was too big of a pussy to name an outright conference champion! The funny thing is, the two teams everyone argues should be in would have supplanted the eventual champion, Ohio State. You can argue all day long that TCU might have beaten the Buckeyes, but then again, after witnessing the way that Buckeye defense was able to dominate both Alabama and Oregon, you’d probably be wrong! If the playoff proved anything it is this; Urban Meyer is the best coach in college football today… and when you give him that amount of time to game plan for a team, they are going to be tough to beat.

  Now I am no longer a Buckeye fan. I was glad to see them win, sure, but after the Tressell debacle and the constant flow of garbage I heard out of that fan base defending that charlatan (and some STILL do to this day), I was out. I’m not jumping back on the bandwagon… merely observing what a guy like Urban Meyer brings to the table. But if there is a fan base I hate even more than that one, it would be Michigan’s! Well, obviously Penn State fans are the world’s #1 dirtbags… but that’s a different story for my next rant! I hope Michigan fan is paying close attention… especially now that the “savior” Jim Harbaugh is back in town. Is Harbaugh a good coach? Yes, he is. Is Harbaugh anywhere near the level of an Urban Meyer… or even Nick Saban? No chance in hell. He inherited a ready to go San Francisco team, which is the sole reason for his success in the NFL. San Diego State? They are a perennial contender in the MWC… they were before he came around, and they have been since he’s left. Stanford… his record there is less than impressive, 29-21, including going 1-1 in bowl games in his four years there. So be careful what you wish for Michigan fan… and just because you get it doesn’t mean you’ll be hanging any banners any time soon!

  In other NCAA news, Oregon QB Marcus Mariota has declared himself for the 2015 NFL Draft, despite the flaws in his game that were exposed by the Ohio State defense in Monday night’s title game. Not sure about any of you, but in my opinion this guy has bust written all over him. Hell, I think I’d take a chance on Jameis before I went with Mariota. He’s a solid kid, great off field, but Winston is light years ahead of him as far as on field ability is concerned.

  As was reported by AFD earlier this week, the NCAA is considering reinstating the 111 wins they initially stripped from Joe Paterno, an act that would once again make him the winningest coach in the history of college football. This of course comes a few months after they decided to shorten the bowl ban initially placed on the Pedo Cats, despite the fact that the university was proven to have covered up decades of child rape at the hands of assistant coach Jerry Sandusky. Of course, dirtbag Pedo Cat fan is thrilled by this idea. Once again, lawyers step in and ruin something… if there is one thing I hate nearly as much as Matt Millen and pedophiles, it is fucking lawyers. And how about that… all of them have a connection to Penn State University. So get ready sports fans… you could very well see the bloated, perma-looking the other way corpse of Joe Paterno surpass an actual good man in Greg Robinson once again on the NCAA’s all-time coaching wins list… and you could possibly finally see my fucking head explode with disgust!

  The Pistons have improved to 8-2 over their last ten, with losses to the Hawks (who are currently on a ten game winning streak) and Pelicans the only two blemishes on their suddenly solid record in the past two weeks, and are now just 2.5 games out of the 8 seed in the East. A major highlight included an impressive 114-111 win over the Raptors in Toronto in which Brandon Jennings had 34 points and 10 assists going up against arguably the best PG in the East in Kyle Lowry. If they can keep this up, the schedule favors them through February… and we could have a .500 or better basketball team here in Detroit!

  Danny Ainge has been all over the map this year, making trades and picking up draft picks on what seems like a weekly basis so far this year. There are so many players coming and going in Boston, it’s starting to look like Kim Kardashian’s bedroom up there!

  But all joking aside… the tanking in the NBA this year is just out of control! The Knicks, Lakers, Celtics, 76ers, and Timberwolves… all God awful and looking to get worse with every transaction! Wonder if Adam Silver is going to step in and do anything anytime soon…

  Calgary Flames rookie LW Johnny Gaudreau is reportedly seeking to secure the trademark “Johnny Hockey” in both the US and Canada. Evidently Johnny wants to become the new most hated man in hockey. Now admittedly I don’t know much about the guy. He’s got a solid 32 points in 42 games so far this year, and he is a former Hobey Baker Award winner at Boston College… but come on man… you’re better than that! Leave the goofy fucking nicknames to former Heisman winning washouts!

  That’s all I’ve got for this week folks. Thanks for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out, and have a great weekend Gabbers!


Weekly Grumble with IHM 1/9
Posted by IHateMillen on Friday, January 09, 2015 at 10:31:07 AM

  Hello folks, and welcome to this week’s Grumble. Due to pulling the ol’ switcheroo with the Beeze last week, it’s been a full eleven days since I last came your way… and we’ve seen a whole hell of a lot happen in that time! Needless to say, there is a whole lot rattling around in this ol’ noggin of mine, so let’s get right to it!

  I’ll start in a place I haven’t started in for a long time now… the NBA! Why? Because the Detroit Pistons are suddenly the hottest team in the Association, winners of 7 straight… and not just over their fellow “sisters of the poor”, either. When the team sat at 5-23, Stan Van Gundy decided it was time for a change. Frankly, they were unwatchable… just an incohesive, disinterested bunch giving a half assed effort the majority of the time… led in that effort by Josh Smith, who repeatedly clashed with coach Van Gundy on the bench and at practice. Well, SVG had enough… and he put the axe to J-Smoove, possibly the worst contract Joe Dumars signed any player to during his tenure as GM, and this team has responded in a big way! Not only are they winning games, they are running teams out of the gym. The seven game winning streak is their first such streak since the 2008-09 season… winning games against San Antonio and Dallas on the annual Texas two-step trip? Hasn’t happened since the 1996-97 season; or before Duncan or Dirk were NBA players! They are actually a lot of fun to watch now, and playing a brand of team basketball reminiscent of the surprise championship team of 2004. Maybe not that good… but you can see potential here where there was absolutely NONE when Josh Smith was in town.

  Up next for the Pistons, a game against the surprising 27-8 Atlanta Hawks tonight at the Palace of Auburn Hills. Another big test for this seven game streak, which gained legitimacy after back to back wins in Texas. We’ll see how the upstart Pistons fare against the Southeast Division leaders. Who would have thought that this would be must see TV before the NBA season started? And by the way, just by getting to a 12-23 record, the Pistons are 2 ½ games out of the 8 seed in the East. Yikes.

  The obvious story I am probably expected to address this week is the situation that occurred last weekend in Dallas… the picked up flag that “cost the Lions the game” according to some. I’ve commented a few times on this already this week, but I’ll do it again here: There is NO reason for the Detroit Lions to blame officiating for losing to the Dallas Cowboys last Sunday. Frankly, I think they lost to Dallas back on December 28th… when they lost for a 23rd year in a row in Green Bay, Wisconsin. If you beat the Packers and win your division, you not only host a playoff game but you get home field advantage. The Lions failed at that, and they predictably failed again the next week in Dallas. I was called the "Worst Lions Fan Ever" on Facebook earlier this week for having that opinion... so I'll take that name and run with it!

  I don’t deny that the call was a big factor in that game. Did it swing momentum a bit? Yes. Did it swing momentum a LOT? Yes. But so did only scoring six points in the second half. So did the ten yard shank punt that occurred on the next play from scrimmage. So did giving up a 4th and 6 pass right up the gut to the combo of Romo and Whitten. So did Matt Stafford’s two fumbles on the final drive… in which the Lions could have won the football game but failed to perform. Face it Lions fans… your team lost that game. They didn’t “get screwed”… the freaking lost. Get over your little persecution complexes; get over your “us vs. them” mentality, your team lost a football game they should have won. No disrespect to Dallas or Dallas fans… but when you lead 17-7 at halftime, if you are any form of a good football team you win the damn game.

  As for the teams that are actually still playing, I’ll take Green Bay over Dallas, the Colts over the Broncos, the Patriots over the Ravens, and the Seahawks over the Panthers this weekend.

  This week also saw the reveal of four new inductees for the MLB Hall of Fame. First ballot inductees included Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez, and John Smoltz while Craig Biggio was elected in his second year of eligibility. Notable misses included Mike Piazza, Tim Raines, Jeff Bagwell, Fred McGriff, and of course noted steroid users such as Bonds, Clemens, McGwire, Kent, and Sheffield. But as usual, the conversation stems around who didn’t make it just as much as around those who did.

  Over the years, those of you who have read my blogs know my stance on PEDs. It was an absolute disgrace to the game, and I have railed against anybody associated with it with extreme prejudice. But, I have realized over the past year or so that we really do need to just get past that. Steroids were a huge part of the game of baseball from the late 80’s until the mid-2000’s. Many of the game’s best used, many of them were hall of fame talents before they started using. Bonds was on his way to the Hall before he allegedly started using during his time in San Francisco. Clemens was well on his way to the Hall before he allegedly started using in New York…  maybe before… who knows. The point is, why keep excluding these players? They were a part of the game’s history, whether that part of the game’s history was pretty or not. There is no way of knowing whether or not a guy truly did use unless he got caught red handed… and there is no real way to measure what that guy would have done with/without the use of PEDs. At this point, the best course of action is to simply judge by the numbers and give this never ending argument a rest.

  Another issue that has come up is the voting process its self. A voter can have up to ten players on their ballot… but the question is why. Why limit the number of guys someone can vote for? Why not just go by the simple mantra of “is he a Hall of Famer, or isn’t he” as opposed to “if I don’t vote for this guy this year, will he be on the ballot next year”? It should be cut and dry… not how many years has the guy been on the ballot… not “Babe Ruth didn’t get 100% of the vote, so this guy shouldn’t either”. If a guy is a fucking Hall of Famer, vote for him. If not, don’t. It’s not that complicated… it isn’t rocket science… it’s baseball!

  In 2016, Ken Griffey, Jr. hits the ballot for the first time. If anyone doesn’t vote for him, they should be publically shamed and stripped of their damn voting rights. Griffey should be the first 100% vote, he is an absolute no doubter.

  In terms of eligible players, I will give you my ballot for next year based on who is eligible. If a guy is in his first year, I’ll put an “N” after his name:

Ken Griffey, Jr. (N), Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Mike Piazza, Tim Raines, Lee Smith, Edgar Martinez, Fred McGriff, Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro, Gary Sheffield, Jeff Kent, Trevor Hoffman (N), Carlos Delgado.

  14 players, the majority of which were holdovers because somehow the BBWAA thinks it owns some sort of moral high ground over guys who “allegedly” used steroids. The same BBWAA who has the policy of “if Babe Ruth didn’t get 100%, nobody gets 100%”.

  For 2017, the field narrows again because all of the old steroid era holdovers are now gone and off the ballot. New additions to the ballot include Vlad Guerrero, Ivan Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez; all of whom get my vote.

  2018, same deal… the new guys get the votes and we don’t see ridiculous wait times for deserving candidates. New candidates that year include Omar Vizquel, Jamie Moyer, Andruw Jones, Chipper Jones, Johan Santana, Johnny Damon, Chris Carpenter, Scott Rolen, Jim Thome, Kerry Wood and Carlos Lee. Now if that list doesn’t make you feel old, I don’t know what will!

 And just FYI, of that list, I vote for Thome, Chipper, and Vizquel. Vizquel you ask… the guy has 2,800 hits, 400+ steals, and 11 career Gold Gloves… including 9 straight… in what is arguably the most important fielding position in baseball, short stop. And he won them over big names like Ripken Jr., Alex Rodriguez, and Derek Jeter.

  After missing last season and the majority of the season before, Alex Rodriguez is technically eligible for the HOF in 2019… assuming he doesn’t play a game this year. The second he does he puts his candidacy off another five years! 2019 includes the likes of Mariano Rivera, Todd Helton, Miguel Tejada, Andy Pettite, Roy Halladay, and Lance Berkman. And again, FYI, the only one of that bunch I vote for is Mariano Rivera… the rest fall just short of being legit HOFers in my eyes.

  Not to be outdone, the Pro Football Hall of Fame released their list of 15 finalists yesterday. The list includes:

Charles Haley: 5-time Super Bowl champ with 100 career sacks… he’s got my vote.

Morten Andersen: The kicker for the HOF’s all-80’s and all-90’s teams, and the NFL’s career leader in points scored at 2,544 and games played at 388. He’s a kicker… but he’s possibly the best damn kicker in league history this side of Vinateri! I’d give him a vote.

Jerome Bettiss: The 6th leading rusher in NFL history, “the Bus” needs to make his way to Canton, Ohio this late summer!

Tim Brown: 1,094 catches, nearly 15,000 receiving yards, 80 TDs, and a great return man. That’s a yes for me.

Don Coryell: An innovator on the offensive side of the ball… a long overdue yes for me.

Terrell Davis: A great player, great story,  but only for a very short period of time. Three years of dominance doesn’t do it for me, that’s a no.

Tony Dungy: Only one Super Bowl win as a coach… he was good, but not great. No vote for me.

Kevin Greene: 5th round pick that went on to record 160 career sacks, good for third all-time. Member of the 1990’s all decade team. That’s a yes for me.

Marvin Harrison: 1,100 catches for over 14,000 yards and 128 career TDs. He ranks 3rd, 7th, and 5th all-time respectively. Made 8 straight trips to the Pro Bowl. Yes for sure.

Jimmy Johnson: Coach who built the 1990’s Cowboy roster with Jerry Jones as the GM… yeah. The guy was the architect, and he deserves to be honored as such. Yes vote for me.

John Lynch: Feared hitter and a guy who played a solid safety in the NFL for a long time, but not quite a Hall of Famer in my eyes. No.

Orlando Pace: Best LT of his era, definite yes vote.

Will Shields: 12 straight Pro Bowls don’t lie… the guy was one of the best in the league for a long time. Yes vote for me.

Junior Seau: Defensive playmaker that was a Pro Bowler 12 straight years, a first team All-Pro six times, and a member of the 1990’s all-decade team. For sure a yes, tragic that he won’t be there to see it.

Kurt Warner: Great story, but this one had a happier ending than TD’s did. Warner went from bagging groceries to league MVP.. then fell off the face of the earth… only to have another run of success in Arizona to close his career out. Through it all, he managed 32,000 passing yards, 208 TDs, a Super Bowl win in St.Louis, and a pair of near misses with St.Louis and Arizona. I honestly wouldn’t be very upset either way with this one… but to me, the guy is in. Just his story alone is Hall of Fame material.

  So what is your take on all of this, Gabbers? Be sure to let me know on the way out. Thanks as always for reading, and have a great weekend!


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Personal Information
Spending time with the wife and kid, sports, blogging about sports & other random crap, smoking, beer, watching tv.

Favorite Music
Mostly rock/metal... none of the new crap, though. Been listening to a lot more country lately... only genre putting out new music that's worth half a fuck.

Favorite Movies
The Big Lebowski, Pineapple Express, Half Baked, Pulp Fiction, Resivoir Dogs, Natural Born Killers, Office Space, O Brother Where Art Thou, Boondock Saints, Coming To America, A History of Violence, One Flew Over The Cucoos Nest.

Favorite Books
Does the sports page count? I read 1984 for school... guess that one wasn't so bad...

Favorite Quotations
"Life sucks, get a fuckin helmet"- Dennis Leary

General About Me
I'm a high strung prick who likes to go off about things I have no ability to change... kinda like sports... I like spending time with my wife and son, drinking a beer or two on occasion, watching the tv and smoking... although I'm going to try and quit soon... which will only serve to make me even more fuckin high strung...

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