First of all I want to thank oldharry for dusting off old shorty and allowing me to sit in for him today. I'm an infrequent visitor to Mo's , but when I drop in for a visit I always get a warm welcome from the regulars that support this fine establishment. When Sully asked me to come out of softball coaching for a day and tap the keyboard with my out there thoughts, I was at first flattered, then nervous, and finally wondering what the heck am I going to write about? Well folks, strap yourselves in. It's going to be a rough ride inside of last's mind...

So last night I'm wondering about some numbers. We've all heard the "give 110%" adage from coaches, fans, friends and good ole mom and dad. Well, this always had me wondering. Where does the extra 10% come from? If all I can ever give is all I got, and all I can possibly muster is everything I have in me, which by the way is 100% (as far as I know); then what's the use in giving more? Think about this; if I only gave 10% which is the extra I'm asked to give, well that's not enough. Or is it? If anyone here received a 10% grade in any case, let's say in school or at work; we'd be 100% outta luck. But wait a tick.

The greatest baseball hitters have hit over .400, right? Well, they're 50% short of the requisite goal. Teddy ballgame only gave 34.4% effort at the plate over his illustrious career. Where's the other 75.6% Mr. Williams? And don't tell me it's frozen in some chamber somewhere. What about Ty Cob? My understanding is Mr. racist has the highest career batting average in MLB history at .367. You're still 73.3% short. Not even close, pal!

Ok, so how about teams? Right now the Yankees and Red Sox have the best winning percentages at over .600 each (as of this writing anyway) in MLB. OK boys, where the hell is the other 50%? You're all demoted to the minor leagues until you get that extra percentage up. I'm tired of the half-assed work out there in sports. I don't know about you, but if we only performed at 60% efficiency on the job my ears would be ringing like the referee in the commercial where the coach is screaming directly in his ear. Plus, I'd likely be unemployed. Unless I'm a weatherman, but that's a story for another day.

Speaking of half-assed; how about the whole (or should I say part) "glass half full/half empty" stuff. So thinking again on efforts, wouldn't it be true that Mr Williams only saw his glass 34.4% full? Or would that be empty? Perhaps 65.6% empty? I dunno. But wait another second. Where does the extra 10% go when speaking of glasses? Not the ones I have sliding down my nose either. If my estimation of gravity is correct, then the extra 10% in the whole glass thingy is right on the floor. Mo, please bring a mop because you're 100% sewed if one of your patrons slips and falls. Or does the "extra 10%" not apply here. I'm confused.

And what of the empty part of the glass? Is it still 50%? Or is 100% of the glass that's half full (I'm an optimist) empty? Or better yet is the empty part 100% empty? Ok, now I'M being negative. But, I'm 100% positive my numbers are adding correctly. Does that make me wrong? If I add those two conflicting thoughts together, then there's 200% to be had. So, then, in the glass half full of half empty adage, we're falling 90% short of our goal. You're NOT giving 110% in either case, glass; so back to the factory for you! Meltdown will ensue.

Speaking of meltdowns and staying with my half-witted theme, what happens to a team or player when he/she has a meltdown? Is said player/team 100% crazy or partly nuts? I can assure you that everyone who witnesses the outburst is 100% certain to stay the hell away from the nut job. Well here you go again not giving 110%. If you could only put forth that extra 10%, then maybe you would be clairvoyant enough to see 10% into the future to stop this silliness from happening. And with that, I'm 110% done with my thoughts. I must tell you though, that 10% of me is very tired. I think I'll only go 100% next time.

Thanks harry and Sully for the platform. Or should I say stool. I hope I didn't drive too many of you into the bathroom or the dark corners of the bar with may half-brained ideas. Heck, from what I'm told, I only use 10% if it anyway. So technically, I'm 1/10th brained, but we won't get into that...

Final thought: if all the haves and have not's went to battle, would there be anything left? Have a great day everyone! Or a crappy one, if that's your preference (thanks George Carlin!)