Because it's 3am.. It's Friday...er... Saturday. I have beer and Internet access.

Come home from work after another crappy week in the box biz and I do what I usually do. Flip on the idiot-box and park my ass in my comfy reclining computer chair to unwind with a beer and to see what is going on in my little world. Try and decipher the hidden cryptic messages left by people of the earth-bound BlackHole that is FB... Turn on the tube...

Well, well, well... What do we have here. It's Fishing. Not the standard Roland Martin, stand in a boat and watch me drag in half-dead slobs that a guy in a scuba suit hooked to my line and tugged on till I realized that was in the script...

It was COLLEGE B.A.S.S. FISHING!!!

Good-ole-boy-JR's riding around in boats that cost as much as my house gettin' a line wet wearing decked out fishing shirts with college colors and logo's. The questions are flooding my head to max-capacity. I might not be able to sleep unless I get another 5 or 6 beers in me and forget what I was watching.

First off... How do I get signed up to be accepted to this curriculum? Do I have to be in Eastern Kentucky University? Whom, by the way is destroying the other schools. One kid in a fancy shirt, the other in camo-shorts, red T-shirt, and cap slightly askew. Both wearing their tattered flip-flops and you can see the black spot on their chins from where the producers told them to 'please, take out the dip'... These guys started talking smack about the LSU team and the announcers were just eating it up. Hell, the two from EKU didn't even have on the $500 custom polarized fishing goggles everyone else had. So what do they do... Go cruising around the other schools with their feet up and trolling slow. The only thing missing was the kicker-speaker playing thumping music and the fuzzy dice.  

What is the rest of their class schedule like?

M-W-F 900-1000 HO101. How to sleep in flea-bag hotels every weekend and not catch a skin disease.

T-Th 1000-1200 KN201 Blind-Folded Knot-Tying Advanced. Participants in this class need to bring their swimmies because it's held under water.

M-W-F EX110 Acceptable excuses for not catching fish.... Apparently the boys from Alabama just finished this class before heading out to the water because the one was rambling  about how the transducer on his depth-finder was messing up and and he couldn't do what he wanted while on the water... blah blah blah... go back to Bama' you slacker. Excuses are like assholes... Everyone has one and they usually stink. Geezus he is still crying about it. Grab a stick and mark some lines on it and push it in the water till it hits bottom.

My opinion... Good for them. Get an education while catching fish. Then get PAID to catch fish. Isn't that the dream of everyone South of the Mason-Dixon line???

.....WOAH.... Wait one cotton-picking minute... What... The... Fuck... Is... This??? Did someone change my cable provider to one from Oklahoma??? Get this... COLLEGE RODEO... Oh, wait. I am on ESPiN-U. All college, all the time. But Rodeo??? Ok, ok. I deserve it. I turned it to this channel because I was in need to see what the College BASS Fishing had in store.

All right... Screw this crap... It's 4:15, time for RobotChicken. Ba-bawk-bawk-bawk. Someone once told me that the theme music to RC makes them want to kick puppies. Break out the shit-kickers and kick some shit!!!

Oh, yeah... And I have a clambake and pig roast to go to Saturday... Something tells me this should be a very interesting day... My ticket:

S.