It’s that time of year again – Festivus – where we air our grievances and display our feats of strength.  It is a time for sharing: sharing our grievances, specifically.  Well, the feats of strength, too, but I’m a big fan of airing grievances. 

2011 has been wonderful fodder for these grievances, personified by my friend Siri.  We can’t get along at all, yet I find I take her with me everywhere.  Welcome to the annual Festivus celebration at Mo’s Tavern, and allow me to introduce my co-host, Siri.  Welcome Siri. 

“I’m not sure what you said.”

Of course not.  In the absence of official fan polling on the airing of grievances, Siri and I will compile some of the worst, in our opinion, 2011 had to offer.  Siri, what do you think was the biggest disappointment of 2011?

“It doesn’t really matter what I think.”  Well, it kind of does – we’re, like, putting a show together here.  You don’t really give me many answers, Siri.

“Ok, one of these places matching “Answers” isn’t far from you:

Morrison Funeral Home – 8.3 miles

Jesus is the Answer Ministry – 33 miles

Christ is the Answer – 30 miles

Answer is Fitness – 35 miles.”

Although I am curious about the logic behind providing a funeral home as an “answer,” in the interest of speeding this along, I think I’ll just talk about some of my grievances.

Now, I’m pretty transparent about my sports, so it’s not hard to imagine what my #1 grievance would be about…unless you’re Siri.  Case in point, Siri, what would be my number one disappointment of the year? “I don’t know what you mean by [that]”  Of course you don’t.  “Sorry, I don’t understand, ‘Of course you don’t’”  My biggest disappointment was the 2011 Red Sox.  “I don’t understand.”  Allow me to explain.

This was a team that was by most accounts destined to return to the World Series.  Remove the first and last months of the season, and they were the best team in baseball going away.  Individual contributors waxed and waned, but as a group, for most of the season, this team was living up to the hype.  BUT, there was this pesky little concept hanging out there called “finishing.”  When you just barely need two hands with which to count wins for the month of September, there’s a big problem.  Losing game 162, put the finishing touches on a season of discontent.  In the intervening time, we’ve seen the manager part ways with the team amid what could only be considered character assassination attempts, the General Manager who with said manager brought 2 World Series to the team bolted to the Cubs for an apparently as of yet undecided compensation back to the Sox, and the closer bolt to the Phillies apparently without so much as talking to the team.  Maybe Jose Canseco is available to close.  “I don’t understand ‘Maybe Jose Canseco is available to close’.” 

That’s probably the first intelligent thing you’ve said to me.  “I don’t understand.”

You know what I don’t understand, Siri?  I don’t understand how a group of adults can consistently fail to do the right thing by children.  I don’t understand how a grown man can say he saw another adult molesting a child in the shower and fail to affirmatively do something about it.  Imagine what Penn State would look like right now if one person – just one – had done the right thing.  From the outside it would look very similar to the way it looked 6 months ago, reputation in tact.  Fact is, one way or another and sooner or later the organization will have to do the right thing – it’s just a shame that the adults in the conversation could not see beyond their own perceived self interest to do the right thing.

“I don’t know what you mean.”  I’m talking about Penn State.  “State College, Pennsylvania is 431 miles from you.  Would you like directions?” 

[Throws phone across the floor]  I’m sure Siri isn’t intentionally obtuse, she’s just programmed that way. 

I wish I could generate enough interest to complain about college sports, like the Sooners disappointing season, but I just can’t.  College sports just don’t interest me, never have, but I do appreciate that for a great many the college game is the only game that really matters.  I’m too much of a homer to complain too bitterly about the Phillies’ season ending as it did or the way the Eagles’ season has unfolded, and too much a hater to do anything but giggle my butt off about the Colts season or about the results of LbJ taking his talents to South Beach.  I wish I could say that I have a grievance with the loss of half the NBA season – but I don’t.  Didn’t even know they weren’t playing to be honest. 

What I do have a grievance with is a guy like Ndamukong Suh channeling Albert Haynesworth and stomping on an opponent, on Thanksgiving no less.  What he doesn’t get is that one moment can define a career – it’s the one thing people outside of Detroit will remember about the guy.   Fans of the Lions finally have a bright spot, a reason to watch football every week, and Suh misbehaves his way onto the naughty list.  Dumb.  And if nothing else, Detroit deserves better.   For good measure, I’ll throw Ryan Braun onto the Festivus grievances because he’s clearly a dummy too. 

Feats of strength are not my forte either, really.  I like to find the negative, finding the positive is always so damn cheesy.  “What kind of cheese would you like?”  When you think about it though, sport by its very nature is a ying/yang thing.  For every 16-0 Patriots, there’s a 0-16 Lions; the undefeated Packers lose the same week the winless Colts win.  For every Tim Thomas, there’s a Roberto Luongo.  Just kind of works out like that.

One of the things I have always said has been that as much as I hate the Yankees laundry, I don’t hate the guys wearing it.  It’s for that reason that I can give up a little love for Derek Jeter for his 3,000^th hit.  This is a man who has played the game at a high level with integrity and class for a long time and I couldn’t be happier that such a man reached his milestone.  As for his teammate, Mr Rodriguez, I wouldn’t give him the time of day, but Jeter has demonstrated time and again he is not only a quality player, but a quality person.

In case I hadn’t already mentioned it, I’m a homer.  The Boston Bruins going to a Game 7 in each of their playoff series to beat one of the best goal tenders in the game on his home ice and make him look like an AHL wash out in the process truly has to be one of the years biggest feats of strength.  With that win, the Bruins became the 4^th Boston franchise to win their league’s championship in 6-years, capping off the most amazing 10-year run for the city of Boston and probably in the history of professional sports in this country.  Yeah, so the Bruins get the nod for one of my feats of strength this year.

And the last feat of strength I can dish out really has to be the Packers’ title defense season.  This is a team that got strong and made the plays when it mattered last year and rode that crest to the Super Bowl.  How did they follow it up?  By coming damn close to undefeated.  I don’t know if I buy into the “its good to lose and get the pressure of an undefeated season off your back” business.  I mean, these are players who just want to play.  The media hypes pressure, the fans feel it.  I’m not so sure athletes feel it.  Look it’s a great story line, but I don’t know that the players are all that into story line.  Fact is, that we may have all seen a team come within 1:30 of being undefeated recently – pressure?  I don’t know.  What I do know is that the Packers are the odds on favorite to win the Lombardi trophy again because of the way they’ve defended it this year.

I hope you all enjoy your Festivus, and all those other holidays that may be happening.  Raise your Festivus pole, celebrate your strengths, get those grievances off your chest so they don’t bog you down going forward and have a wonderful rest of the year.  Happy holidays from Steve Grogan, Drew Bledsoe and Tom Brady.

The Twelve Days of Gabbers.

On the First Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me,

A Musing from the Hoodwood.

On the Second Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me,

Two Tuesday Tantrums,

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

On the Third Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me,

Three Deep Thoughts,

Two Tuesday Tantrums

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

On the Fourth Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me

Four Monday Moaning,

Three Deep Thoughts,

Two Tuesday Tantrums

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me

5 Minutes with Frags,

Four Monday Moaning,

Three Deep Thoughts,

Two Tuesday Tantrums,

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

On the Sixth Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me,

Six Thoughts from an Island Girl,

5 Minutes with Frags,

Four Monday Moaning,

Three Deep Thoughts,

Two Tuesday Tantrums,

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

On The Seventh Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me,

Seven Fry Day Blogs,

Six Thoughts from an Island Girl,

5 Minutes with Frags,

Four Monday Moaning,

Three Deep Thoughts,

Two Tuesday Tantrums,

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

On the Eight Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave To Me,

Eight Buzz from the bleachers,

Seven Fry Day Blogs,

Six Thoughts from an Island Girl,

5 Minutes with Frags,

Four Monday Moaning,

Three Deep Thoughts,

Two Tuesday Tantrums,

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

On The Ninth Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me,

Nine Thoughts from the Couch,

Eight Buzz from the bleachers,

Seven Fry Day Blogs,

Six Thoughts from an Island Girl,

5 Minutes with Frags,

Four Monday Moaning,

Three Deep Thoughts,

Two Tuesday Tantrums,

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

On The Tenth Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me,

Ten Random Thoughts,

Nine Thoughts from the Couch,

Eight Buzz from the bleachers,

Seven Fry Day Blogs,

Six Thoughts from an Island Girl,

5 Minutes with Frags,

Four Monday Moaning,

Three Deep Thoughts,

Two Tuesday Tantrums,

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

On The Eleventh Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me,

Eleven Tools of the Week,

Ten Random Thoughts,

Nine Thoughts from the Couch,

Eight Buzz from the bleachers,

Seven Fry Day Blogs,

Six Thoughts from an Island Girl,

5 Minutes with Frags,

Four Monday Moaning,

Three Deep Thoughts,

Two Tuesday Tantrums,

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

On The Twelfth Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me,

Twelve Days of Harvey Dakota,

Eleven Tools of the Week,

Ten Random Thoughts,

Nine Thoughts from the Couch,

Eight Buzz from the bleachers,

Seven Fry Day Blogs,

Six Thoughts from an Island Girl,

5 Minutes with Frags,

Four Monday Moaning,

Three Deep Thoughts,

Two Tuesday Tantrums,

And a Musing from the Hoodwood.

Have a very Merry Christmas

Twas the Gab before Christmas,

And all across the site,

The Gabitants were waiting,

For a topic just right.

Sandusky had been done,

His pedophile playmate Fine as well,

And without a Favre sighting,

There were just no stories to tell.

The NFL and NBA,

Were finally back back on the job,

Making way too much money,

For a forward pass or a lob.

The Gabitants were spread,

Around Mo’s empty bar room,

Pondering their thoughts,

In the gathering gloom.

Sully was keeping busy,

Answering an email or two,

From his good friend in Nigeria,

With some illegal banking to do.

Felber is still out shoveling,

The snow from last week,

That fell to the Earth,

Like a Raven’s winning streak.

The Beezer was seated,

Beside the fire in his chair,

Helping the Misses,

Clean the spunk from her hair.

Still others were coming,

And taking their seats,

Hoping for a story,

To fall at their feet.

Perhaps Harvey Dakota,

Had something to add,

About his memories of the days,

When the coaches wore plaid.

Johnny Monkey is in the corner,

Plotting his next plan for fun,

Of rising to power,

And usurping Kim Jong Un

And there’s B-Dub,

Helping to deck the halls,

Ranting about the Gamecocks,

And swinging from Cam Newton’s balls.

Fresh in from Hoodwood

Black Bandit got gifts aplenty,

With Phat Daps for some,

And Head Slaps for many.

Here’s Average Fan Detroit,

And his brother IHM,

With fresh Suh footprints,

On each of them.

B.O.B is in the corner,

Throwing a tantrum or two,

He has no Christmas spirit,

Because he’s pissed off at all of you.

Jefft02 hasn’t made it yet,

As he’s got a lawsuit to thwart,

Proving deep thoughts are his own,

In a Texas federal court.

Mia and Hotch,

Were nowhere to be seen,

Getting shafted with Christmas duty,

To feed the Gab blog machine.

And here I am,

Putting to paper this piece I do write,

Wishing my fellow Gabitants a Merry Christmas,

In a poem that has bite.

But this poem was fun,

And every word in jest,

I hope you have a good holiday,

And that your families remain blessed.

Hello Gabbers, Johnny Monkey here to wish you a Merry Christmas. Johnny Monkey has taken the rest of the year off to celebrate Christmas with his friends, but after reading an article about the passing of Kim Jong II, Johnny Monkey felt compelled to write something. You have probably heard about Kim Jong II, right? Jong was the leader of North Korea and was constantly being heard threatening to drop a bomb on one country or another. Johnny Monkey did not realize what an exquisite athlete that Kim Jong was and wondered if perhaps is there was some Johnny Monkey blood in Kim Jong. Of course you know that Johnny Monkey is well known as Johnny Monkey the Bad Ass Monkey, but when Johnny Monkey reads that Kim Jong II was known as:Glorious General Who Descended From Heaven and the Ever-Victorious Iron-Willed Commander, Johnny Monkey must acknowledge that Jong had a bad ass name. Johnny Monkey has always picked up things very easily...like playing Beethoven and Mozart flawlessly after listening to a tape about playing piano. But, Johnny Monkey has nothing on Kim Jong. Did you realize that Jong pieced together an exquisite round of 38 for 18 holes at Pyongyang’s 7,700-yard championship course. In the reading about Jong, Johnny Monkey discovered this:

The feat included five magnificent holes-in-one and it appears that Kim subsequently decided his 31-under-par achievement was enough to solidify his legacy and rarely played afterwards. Perhaps for the sake of our perception of golf’s legend, it is just as well. Jack Nicklaus’ career hole-in-one tally of 20 seems humble by comparison, and had Kim continued at his early pace, he would have surpassed the Golden Bear within a week.

Johnny Monkey bowled one time and rolled a very fair 278...Jong outdid Johnny Monkey:

Ten-pin bowling was another pursuit that Kim, believed to stand just over five feet but clearly a physical specimen of unmatched grace, turned to with equal aplomb. Again, it took just one attempt to solidify his reputation as a world class performer, with a perfect 300 game in the mid-1990s. Johnny Monkey is impressed! Jong bowled a perfect game in one try? That is truly an inspiration.

Jong's health began to suffer, so he turned to coaching his supreme athletes. Here are examples of Jong's excellent coaching:

By then his appetite for sports was largely restricted to coaching and his ailing physical condition could not prevent that razor-sharp mind from being put to good use in the service of his nation. During the soccer World Cup in 2010, Kim, by then so rarely seen in public that false reports of his death -- presumably leaked by those rascals in the West -- combined technology with tactical savvy to deliver messages to North Korea head coach Kim Jong-Hun. The advice was sent via invisible telephone, which the Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love (another delightful official moniker) had himself had invented, with the coach telling ESPN: "I get regular information ... using mobile phones not visible to the naked eye." Notice that they used the word moniker? Johnny Monkey likes the word moniker...a true hint of Jong's monkey thinking! But Johnny Monkey digresses...

North Korea’s misfortune (or a dastardly Western plot) at being placed in the infamous Group of Death alongside Brazil, Portugal and the Ivory Coast meant there was little that could be done to prevent them from conceding 12 lucky goals and losing all three games, much to the disappointment of the thousand-plus Chinese fans who were rented to cheer them on in South Africa.

Undeterred, Kim again used his soccer knowledge to the benefit of North Korea during the Women’s World Cup earlier this year. More sound hints were sent to the coaching staff, only for the side to be eliminated from group play after struggling to recover from being struck by lightning, which may have also resulted in five players testing positive for steroids.

Even in the months before his death, Kim was said to have retained a keen interest in watching sports. A huge basketball fan -- he was presented with a signed Michael Jordan ball by then Secretary of State Madeleine Albright more than a decade ago -- he must have been disappointed by the recent NBA lockout.

The Jordan memento was said to occupy pride of place in one of Kim’s 17 luxurious palaces and was a fitting tribute from one sports legend to another.

Johnny Monkey wishes that he could have spent time with this great sportsman. But, then again...Jong's eagerness to prove to be the best might have brought out the bad ass in Johnny  Monkey.

Johnny Monkey things that if Kim Jong had eaten his vegetables that he might have lived a more robust life. Don't be like Kim Jong eat your vegetables!

Before Johnny Monkey goes, there was recently a thought that Johnny Monkey was riding around on a dog during a football game. This was Johnny Monkey's cousin Billy Monkey. The youngster can ride anything, but of course this should not surprise you, right? Johnny Monkey is too big to ride a dog, but has ridden other things:

Johnny Monkey wishes all of his Gab friends a very Merry Christmas and to please travel safely during the holidays.

Hello my Gab friends. It has been awhile since I stopped by and I thought it was time to treat you to a few of my thoughts. Johnny Monkey has been compared to another and Johnny Monkey felt that it was time to "differentiate" an interesting man and a bad ass monkey. Here are a few items that you may find, "interesting"...

When Johnny Monkey eats at a restaurant, the waiters tip him.

Traffic lights turn green whenever he approaches the light.

Mimes can’t shut up around Johnny Monkey.

When there is a real emergency, 911 calls Johnny Monkey.

Wherever Johnny Monkey lives, the locals learn to speak his language.

When Johnny Monkey goes fishing, he does not need bait…the fish simply jump in his boat.

Johnny Monkey once made a bad man kick his own ass.

Life gives Johnny Monkey lemonade, never lemons.

Wilt Chamberlain read Johnny Monkey’s book about women.

 After the most interesting man in the world left The Virgin Islands, it was just called The Islands. After Johnny Monkey left, they were called The Satisfied Islands.

At birth, Johnny Monkey slapped the doctor.

Pilots allow Johnny Monkey to talk on his cell phone.

Johnny Monkey is friends with Big Foot and the Loch Ness monster.

Johnny Monkey can french in any language.

Rubik’s cube was a gift to Rubik from Johnny Monkey.

When Johnny Monkey met an alien, the alien asked Johnny Monkey to probe him…

Don't forget to keep eating your vegetables...

Hello Gabbers. Johnny Monkey here to say a quick hello. I hope everyone is eating their vegetables and kicking life's ass. Johnny Monkey heard a cute story today and wanted to pass it along:

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cubs fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Cubs fans too. Not really knowing what a Cubs fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I’m not a Cubs fan.”

Then, asks the teacher, what are you?

“Why I’m proud to be a St. Louis Cardinals fan,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Cardinals fan.

“Well, My Dad and Mom are Cardinals fans, and I’m a Cardinals fan too.”

The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”

A pause, and a smile. “Then,” says the girl, “I’d be a Cubs fan...”...

Johnny Monkey likes the Cubs just fine, but thought this too funny not to pass along.

Johnny Monkey has been working on a magazine, hopefully some of you find this interesting.

Johnny Monkey is not sure what a School For Scondrels is all about.

I heard this and had to get it out there...Bill killin' like he always does...Suck it Pittsburgh!




Shit, how about a bit more...Bill on Sex...




Later, The Beeze. 
 

Johnny Monkey here again to catch up with my Gab friends. It has been a busy week for Johnny Monkey. I had to fly to Arlington to hang with Nolan Ryan and the boys, then make a quick trip to Mexico to discuss security with a few friends.  Johnny Monkey is always on the go, but that is the life of a bad ass monkey. Johnny Monkey wishes to remind everyone to eat vegetables. This helps keep the mind and body sharp. Johnny Monkey is 49, and all of you know what good shape Johnny Monkey is in. Now, don't ask who took this picture.

Here are a few specific vegetables that you should focus on:

Red Potatoes

Carbs have gotten a bad name, but Johnny Monkey loves red potatoes. Johnny Monkey also knows that a recent study found that eating red potatoes helped lower the diastolic blood pressure 4.3% and the systolic pressure fell 3.5%.

Lychee

This sweet white fruit is popular in Asia, but with its big health benefits, it should make its way into your cart, too! Johnny Monkey loves this cool fruit. You should not use your fingers to truly enjoy lychee. You don't have to take Johnny Monkey's word for the benefits of lychee, listen to this: According to a 2006 study in the Journal of Nutrition, lychee has the second-highest level of heart-healthy polyphenols of 24 fruits tested. They were beat only by strawberries, and the study found they had nearly 15% more disease-preventing polyphenols than grapes. Lychee's powerful antioxidants may also help to prevent the formation of breast cancer cells, according to a recent test-tube and animal study from Sichuan University in China. Johnny Monkey thinks that Beezer will like this fruit.

Bokchoy

Johnny Monkey has learned to look back to learn. The Chinese have found that this cabbage has 10 times the recommended daily amount of Vitamin A. Bokchoy is packed with antioxidants and Johnny Monkey likes that it helps to prevent prostrate cancer. Johnny Monkey likes his prostrate very much and does not want to ever lose his prostrate.

Don't go through life mad. Eat your vegetables and be happy. Johnny Monkey can tell you that there are many advantages to being healthy. You can be a bad ass monkey and love to live large.

When you are a bad ass monkey, folks dress like you for Halloween. Johnny Monkey loves Halloween. Remember to be generous to the kids.

When you are Johnny Monkey, you only need one testicle...

Iran announced today that they have scrapped plans to launch a monkey into space. Iran attempted to launch a monkey into space last month, but Iranian officials would not comment why the launch was unsuccessful. Johnny Monkey can tell you why the launch was unsuccessful, Johnny Monkey kicked some Iranian ass and told them to leave the monkeys on the ground. Johnny Monkey also told the Iranian scientists that he would come back to Tehran and kick their ass again, if they attempted to use monkeys in the future. Johnny Monkey told them turtles or frogs would do just fine. Johnny Monkey is a bad ass monkey and does not play.

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/10/12/irans-space-monkey-launch-failure/

Johnny Monkey's tropical vacation was actually a trip to Tehran, but he could not tell his Gab friends last month. Don't forget to eat your vegetables.

The Capn wonders what older players like Dick Butkus thinks of the new NFL? With each passing game, the NFL is becoming more like soccer.

Basketball players flop.

Even Giants flop...

The Capn wonders...if you win and flop is it really a win?

It has been a fun couple of weeks at the Gab for Johnny Monkey. Today, Johnny Monkey got a vacation offer that he cannot refuse. Since there will be no computers where Johnny Monkey is going. This will be the last opportunity for Johnny Monkey to converse on the Gab for a long while. Johnny Monkey wishes to thank his new friends at the Gab for an interesting two weeks. Best of luck until we meet again and don't forget to eat your vegetables.

One of the latest fads are the 'Angry Birds'  and this is catching on like a wildfire.  I think this goes along with the times.      Even here in blogger land.    Every one has something to be angry about.    It is not like a lot of those same people are angry with the state of the games,  but trying to find fault with each other.  In other words,  they to try to make it personal.

Sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.  ~Author Unknown  

  Blogging should be an outlet.

  Not a means to inflict some stealth drama that no one else even cares about outside the non blog world,  real life exists.   Not some slight by an ambiguous person,  you don't even know.

Does that make sense to you?  If it does,  you may take your own life too seriously.   We are all taking life too seriously.   People don't want to laugh,  they want to complain.    They want to make drama because drama sells.  And it isn't like that drama matters.  In ten to twenty years,  this drama will not even be remembered.      I don't care who you are fucking!    I will never talk about my sex life because it somehow cheapens me.   I don't care what you speculate either,   because I have my own life,  just like you had yours.  

Johnny Monkey doesn't offend me,  because that persona makes me laugh.   Creative people intrigue me more than a sexist person who think  we are little brown fuck machines.  I don't even hate bar girls who want to make better of their own  lives and their kids.  If people think I am seeking a green card..   fuck you too!   I am working hard at education.   If you think that is who I am,  that is who you want me to be,    I am not that.

Oh yeah...another woman that loves monkeys. Johnny Monkey has been trying to explain that monkey are cool; here is a woman that gets it. Check out this link for a detailed article with video:

http://www.insideedition.com/news/6863/illinois-woman-raises-five-monkeys-like-children.aspx

Note that she lets one "lucky" monkey sleep in her bed. Johnny Monkey thinks she is the lucky one.

It has been brought to Johnny Monkey's attention that there is a gimp legged old captain that has been speaking poorly of monkeys. Johnny Monkey will teach the captain some manners.

The Capn knows this man as Ron Artest. The world will now know him as Metta World Peace. Ron Artest officially change his name on Friday in Los Angeles. This is not the first time that a NBA player has changed his name. Back in 1981 Lloyd Free became World B. Free. Lloyd became World because of his 44 inch vertical and acrobatic dunks. The Capn has no idea why Artest has changed his last name to World Peace. It is even more difficult to explain his new first name of Metta. Metta? As in the Buddhist metta? As in kindness? The Capn seems to remember a big fight in the stands involving Artest and fans.

The Capn can only say... sometimes God calms the storm. At other times he calms the sailor.

The NFL announced today that it has requested that all NFL teams implement "ankles up" pat downs for anyone entering the stadium. It seems to the Cap'n, that this will really slow down the time to enter the stadium. The Cap'n always likes to bring some of his own medicinal refreshments to the game. I wonder if the security personnel will wonder what the bulge in my pocket is?

The Cap'n may decide to just stay at home and watch football on T.V.